Subscribe To This Blog

Update on checklists for the kids

Jun 17, 2020

Quite a while ago I posted about a checklist I'd made for my son for his morning routine. This is an update, re-exploration of that topic. 

My son is 11. He is the most wonderful, empathetic, smart, and sensitive kid you will ever meet. But, he's on his own planet much of the time. This is hard for me because his flavor of ADHD is so different from mine. I am over sensitive to my environment. I notice everything. As a kid I may not have cared to address what I noticed because it seemed like too much effort, but I knew it was there. I struggle with gett my 11 year old to even notice.

So, a few years ago, I made him a checklist and printed it on bright yellow paper and posted it next to the door in his room. I worked for a few weeks and then faded into his background. I know that ADHDers tend to do a new thing while it is the "bright, shiny object" and then tune it out. I know that visual reminders need to be refreshed often to work for ADHDers. Yet, somehow I expected that the posted checklist would work indefinitely. Or maybe I just wanted it to. 

Needless to say, it did not work forever. Not even close. He didn't slide back to square one but much of the progress was lost. I guess it wasn't super high on my list to follow up and enough of the progress was retained. Then the zombie apocalypse happened and we're all stuck in the house together, and I have more on my plate than ever. And having to chase my son around to do pretty basic stuff like clearing his plate after meals was really grinding my gears. 

And before you ask, no, reminding, yelling, threatening to take away morning TV, etc. didn't work. And, what's worse, I think my being up his tail pipe all the time was negatively affecting our relationship. So I took my own advice and updated and reprinted the checklist, this time on bright pink paper. And, I added a list for meal times. 

Surprise! He immediately responded to the list and did the things more or less successfully for about four day... Then his intensity started to slip. Hopefully I won't have to make a new list every four days. But if I have to change things up a bit every few weeks until the behaviors come automatically for him... I guess I'm willing. It's better than being frustrated and making him upset and still not getting results.


Standard Disclaimer:  In an effort to foil my own perfectionist tendencies, I do not edit my posts muh,  if at all. Please excuse typos, mistakes, grammatical errors, or awkward phrasing. I focus on getting my content down. In my humble opinion, an imperfect post posted is infinitely better than a perfect post that goes unfinished.


Update on checklists for the kids

Share With Friends:
Direct Link


Letting go is freedom... for now at least

Jun 9, 2020

Hey everyone. It has been almost two months since I posted last. I believe one of my last posts was about being in "survive" mode as opposed to "thrive" mode. I've definitely been surviving. The past few months at home have been tough, as I'm sure they have for most of you too. In many ways I've been forced to cut down to the bare minimum in order to survive. My self care is not quite where I would like it to be. I don't get to play the drums as much as I'd like.. hardly at all. But I only skipped one lesson. I'm still trying to progress. I haven't had as much time as I would like to work in the garden. But my wife took the kids for three hours on Sunday and I more or less caught up. So far everything looks good. I've made a concerted effort to start meditating on my own again over the last few weeks... with varied success. 

Work is also a challenge. I have done zero marketing and basically only made time for my clients. Other than that... I'm not keeping up on my ADHD reading and webinars. And, as you know, I'm not posting here. I was very insistent when I started this blog that I didn't want to do the ADHD thing of posting for two months and then forgetting about the blog altogether. I'm proud to say that I've been very consistent over the years. But things change. With this unprecedented situation, I've had to adjust my expectations. 

I think the key to my success (if you want to call it that,) is that I'm just not expecting to thrive. I'm more willing to let things go now than I ever have been before, which is nice. Years ago I would have beat myself up for not thriving and run myself into the ground. On the field I've lost a step... or two. But I like to think I've accrued some wisdom. 

But you will note that I am posting today. I guess that means that I let go while still keeping my thoughts about getting back to normal on the back burner. I had a client end a little early today and thought to myself, I could bang out a blog post. My point is that most people I work with are worried about letting go of anything because they are afraid that they'll never pick those things back up. I'm her to tell you that that isn't the case necessarilly. 


P.S. Formatting and spell check aren't currently working. Please forgive any weirdness.


Standard Disclaimer:  In an effort to foil my own perfectionist tendencies, I do not edit my posts muh,  if at all. Please excuse typos, mistakes, grammatical errors, or awkward phrasing. I focus on getting my content down. In my humble opinion, an imperfect post posted is infinitely better than a perfect post that goes unfinished.



Share With Friends:
Direct Link


Fidget toys don't have to be fancy

Apr 17, 2020

My daughter found this picture nail in my office. It has been my go to fidget toy this week during many a remote session. Sometimes simple is best... and cheapest.
Fidget toys don't have to be fancy

Share With Friends:
Direct Link


How to work from home, pt. 1

Apr 10, 2020

I'm going to post some quick tips about working from home. I've been working from home for almost a decade. It was certainly a challenge at first, but I feel like I've been pretty good at it for the last several years. Of course having my kids and my wife at home is a pretty big change, at least I haven't had to alter my professional life...much. Hopefully I can pass on some things I've learned over the last 9+ years so you can adapt more quickly. 

The first tip is mostly mine, with a very specific detail from my brother-in-law. I think it is really important to still approach your day with a purpose and with some professionalism. I learned this in culinary school, where I was in the a.m. class and needed to be on time for school at 5:30 a.m. with a pressed uniform, hat, neckerchief, shined shoes, hair regulation, piercings out, clean-shaven, awake, and ready to learn. And that level of professionalism was expected at most of my high-end restaurant jobs. So, when I transitioned to working from home, I didn't have to wear a hat or a uniform, but I did decide to get up at a regular time, shower, shave, and get into reasonable clothes every day.

My brother-in-law is a lawyer who doesn't particularly like working from home. Good for him he just bought a two bedroom condo and one bedroom is set up as an office. He takes my philosophy one step further. He actually gets into a suit and tie and dress shoes as if he were going to the office for real and goes into his home office at 9 a.m. and closes the door. Work time. I'll post more tips in the coming weeks.




Standard Disclaimer:  In an effort to foil my own perfectionist tendencies, I do not edit my posts muh,  if at all. Please excuse typos, mistakes, grammatical errors, or awkward phrasing. I focus on getting my content down. In my humble opinion, an imperfect post posted is infinitely better than a perfect post that goes unfinished.



Share With Friends:
Direct Link


Quick cooking tips that are more relevant now than ever

Apr 2, 2020

Planning. Planning. Planning. 

In this "new normal" being prepared seems more important than every. Not quite as easy or safe to zip out the the supermarket and get that thing you forgot about for dinner. We are shopping bigger with the hopes that it lasts longer. But how to know if it will?

I think it is really useful to make a menu for the week... or two weeks between shopping. That way you can be mindful about spreading out certain item. For example, I generally do pasta twice a week, but don't like to do it two days in a row. I can mix in once in a while dishes, like hamburgers, stir fry, tacos, and stroganoff. I can also plot when to use my veggies, ensuring that those that have to get used first do get used first. That way nothing goes bad. 

When I'm not doing pasta or special meals, I generally think in terms of Protein, Veggie, and Starch. I think of it like one of those character flip books from when we were kids. (Below is the only pic I could find in short order online.) Remember those things where you could flip 1/3 of the page to end up with character with a cowboy head, ballerina body, and astronaut boots? You don't have to plan the meal down to the smallest detail. Just have some potatoes, some rice, some bean, some fries. Have three of four veggies. And, have a bunch of different proteins in the freezer. Of course some things will go better with others. But there is no real disaster when you have a starch, a protein, and a veggie. 

If you have salmon, sausage, chicken breasts, and ground beef in the freezer; brussel sprouts, asparagus, delicata squash, cauliflower in the fridge; and baking potatoes, roasting potatoes, good crusty bread, and some rice in the cupboard, then you have 16 different possibilities... if my math is right. So, you can plan but still have a bit of spontaneity. Happy cooking.



Standard Disclaimer:  In an effort to foil my own perfectionist tendencies, I do not edit my posts muh,  if at all. Please excuse typos, mistakes, grammatical errors, or awkward phrasing. I focus on getting my content down. In my humble opinion, an imperfect post posted is infinitely better than a perfect post that goes unfinished.


Quick cooking tips that are more relevant now than ever

Share With Friends:
Direct Link


Surviving at home, pt. II

Mar 27, 2020

Hey y'all. I'm a bit late for my Friday post. (Though I'm going to cheat and post date this.) Actually, going forward, I think I"m going to shoot for posting more often but with considered brevity.  

So, I'm not a big fan of screen time for my kids. But, we have to do some more than usual. I'm trying to limit it during the day but we pretty much do movie night every night. Bear in mind that I have a just turned 11-year-old boy and an about to turn 6-year-old girl. 

So far they've loved:
  1. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
  2. Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
  3. Major Payne (Big hit with my son.)
  4. Back to the future
The neverending story... was a major bummer. Watching the first 20 minutes of it nearly ruined my childhood.

Things we've done in the past that have worked... because I'm a nerd and am raising mini-nerds:
  • Any modern Star Trek series, except DS9. God that show sucked. 
  • Once upon a time. Very cute. Great for the whole family through about season 4... I think
  • The Marvel Movies. Even if you've seen them before. Go back and watch them chronologically. Either in order of release or in order of when they occured. 
  • X-men movie. Patrick Stewart; James McAvoy & Ian McKellen; Michael Fassbender? Need I say more?
We are also diggin on cooking shows. I'm enjoying Jamie Oliver's 15 minute meals and 5 ingredients with my daughter. Iron Chef, Iron Chef America, Good Eats, and old school America's test kitchen/ Cooks Country are always favorites.

Share With Friends:
Direct Link


page 12345678910 next