Our own baggage & how we parent

So, during my anxiety-ridden winter of stress, while fighting off a major depression and popping Ativan like it was my job, I realized something: My son’s behavior is greatly effected by my mood. When I’m on edge and nit picking everything, he is very sensitive to it. Ultimately, it puts him under pressure and his behavior is worse. 

Not that his behavior is the end all be all. I’m more concerned about his well being. And, to realize that I’m bringing stress to him unnecessarily really crushed me. He’s a great kid, but has his own anxiety issues. I only make them worse by being on him all the time. After all he’s only 6. He is wonderful, compassionate, sensitive, smart, capable, and brave. Sure, he’s got stuff to work on, but I need to work on what to let go. 

I so desperately want to be “consistent” and not let him “get away with” anything, that I sometimes don’t parent situationally. In a way, this brief depressive episode was a good thing because it taught me that letting some things go is as important as being consistent about other things. And, when I let up, we both win because I have the energy to wrestle in the back yard and have the fun with him that does us both good.

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