Don’t compare yourself to…


One of the biggest mental traps my clients fall into is comparing themselves to…


…to everyone and everything.


To celebrities.

To other moms.

To neighbors.

To friends.

To colleagues.

To more wealthy people.

To the Cleavers.

To the Greatest Generation.

To some Platonic ideal.

To perfection.


None of it is worth it. Your experience is your own. It is unique. Own it. Love it. Work on yourself. Especially this time of year, be grateful for what you have and feel free to strive for more. But meet yourself where you are and work from there because that’s the only place you are.


So, other than Thanksgiving, where did this topic come from? Well, if you know me, you know that I’ve been fighting debilitating plantar fasciitis for several years. I haven’t been able to run consistently since 2018 or maybe early 2019. I’ve gained weight. It’s been brutal for managing my ADHD, anxiety, and depression. Well, almost a year after a funky non-surgical procedure and painstakingly slowly (torturously so for an ADHDer) working my way back from walking for 10 minutes all the way back up to running 4 miles, I’m back to being able to run every other day for that distance. I’m still a couple minutes per mile slower than I was. I’m still fatter than I want to be. And, now I’m older.


But I am so grateful that I’m able to be out there on these beautiful fall days breathing the fresh air as the sun glints off the fallen leaves. My whole body aches the next day, but in a good way. And I’m able to take my 7-year-old with me. (He bikes while I run.) And it’s been amazing for him, his mood, his ADHD, and helped him get through his 14 day COVID isolation without going totally coco-bananas.


So, we’re out there the other day and I’m feeling good… all things considered. We’re about to hit the three mile mark and a woman who looked about 10 – 15 years older than I am, wearing a single Boston Marathon logo’d layer to my three layers (plus gloves and a hat) came tearing out of a side street in front of us. So, she didn’t, strictly speaking, pass me. But she pulled away pretty quickly on Blue Hill Ave.


My point is that there is always someone who is bigger, stronger, richer… or FASTER. And sometimes that person happens to be a much older, more cold-tolerant, woman. Does that diminish my accomplishment? Not at all. I am pleased that I’m at a point in my life where I could just smile and silently with her well and go back to gutting out my own run, enjoying it for what it is. My personal victory. For that, I am thankful.



(FYI: This is not the actual woman who passed me on my run. I found this lady on the internet. She’s 103 and I’m pretty sure I could take her!)


Standard Disclaimer: In an effort to foil my own perfectionist tendencies, I do not edit my posts much… if at all. Please excuse and typ0s, Miss Steaks, grammatical errors, awkward phrasing. I focus on getting my content out. In my humble opinion, an imperfect post posted is infinitely better than a perfect post conceptualized but unfinished.