I hope this post will synthesize the ideas that I’ve discussed in the last several weeks. Because productivity is largely about identifying priorities, executing those priorities, recognizing urgency, but making time for things that aren’t necessarily urgent so they don’t become urgent. If you’re only dealing with things once you get to the freak out point, it is inherently inefficient and stressful. And we need to talk about the things that are never really urgent. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but #Adulting has a really big component of stuff that’s important but doesn’t have any buddy putting a gun to your head about them.
Yes, that means paying the bills, seeing the doctor, picking up the kids. All the stuff that is not optional and has either a deadline or potentially catastrophic negative affects if not done. Things like filing your taxes aren’t urgent… until they get super urgent. Put a lot of my clients spend a tremendous amount of energy, pretty much all of their energy, I’m dealing with emergencies and don’t have a lot left. To be honest, I would also suggest that a lot of those emergencies are at least partially self generated. Not that I want to blame anyone for for untreated ADHD, depression, anxiety. That’s not my point. My point is that there are emergencies that the universe just throws at us. Your car breaks down. Your kids in the hospital. A tree falls on your house. Those are legitimate emergencies. Having to stay up all night to do your taxes because you left them until April 14, knowing for well that every year they are due on April 15, is a self generated emergency. Again, I’m not blaming. I’m just making a distinction.
But the point is that if we are handling our business without letting self generated emergencies happen, we generally have the resources to handle the occasional actual emergency. But what happens if you need to take your kid to the hospital the night that you were going to stay up all night to do the taxes because it’s the last night you can do it? Sure, you could file an extension or cross your fingers and hope uncle Sam doesn’t notice. But that’s really just setting you up for the same situation in the future and kicking the can down the road.
So if you are consistently struggling to get things that are pre-urgent or non-urgent but important done, I would suggest you ask yourself these questions about why:
- Can I simply not pay attention until I get the adrenaline rush of urgency? Likely ADHD, probably meds.
- Am I overwhelmed by the size of tasks and just don’t know how to break them down? Likely ADHD, behavioral… and maybe anxiety.
- Is everything really hard, including things that I used to enjoy and things that I didn’t used to find hard? Possibly depression layered on top of ADHD.
- Do I actively avoid even thinking about the things I have to do because they stress me out? Likely anxiety.
- Do I consistently avoid things without feeling like I have a reason to? Anxiety pre-avoidance.
If you’re not familiar with it, there’s a saying, if you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail. A lot of times I find that my clients are given a single diagnosis, usually ADHD. Most often they’re grateful to have an answer as to what’s going on. But then they expect to fit all of their struggles into the framework of that one diagnosis. I am an ADHD coach. But even I have to tell my clients pretty regularly, it’s not all the ADHD. And it’s not always the ADHD. I suggest being open to other possibilities. After all, 80% of ADHD folks have at least one other comorbidity.