I was talking with a client today about relationships/mariage. And I articulated something that I don’t think I’ve said in such a clear and concise way. So I wanted to pass it along.
It is my opinion that much of the success of long lasting relationships has to do with finding a way to prioritize things that are of importance to your partner, even if they aren’t inherently important to you. Of course this is even harder for ADHDers because we have a hard finding the time or energy for things that we aren’t inherently stimulated by.
As for how to address this… I don’t know about you, but I enjoy doing nice things for my wife. And frankly, if you don’t enjoy doing nice things for your partner, I’m not sure you should be together. Now you just have to figure out what’s “nice” according to her, not necessarily according to you.
This concept can apply to everything, from the mundane to the monumental. As a small example, maybe starting her car on a cold morning is something that makes her feel loved. You might not care about your car being warm, so you don’t want to bother to put your boots and jacket on to do it for her?
On a larger scale, maybe you both have very different needs on vacation and need to understand each others’ points of view to be able to make it a vacation for both of you.