What’s your self-care routine?

There is no right or wrong answer to this. Well, I guess I would argue that if you don’t think about self-care or make it somewhat of a priority in your life, I could argue that’s the wrong answer. But it really comes down to what is self-care. It’s a super now buzz word. I think it’s one of those things that everyone thinks they know what it is but maybe doesn’t.

My self-care routine involves working out ideally, 5 to 7 days a week I always try to get enough sleep. That is sort of my baseline. I tried to meditate for 5 to 10 minutes 3 to 4 days a week. I tried to practice the drums five or six days a week for somewhere between one minute and whenever it starts to feel not fun anymore. Eating well as hard I definitely get all the nutrition and the good foods that I need. It’s a question of making sure I weed out some of the less good foods. But for the most part I avoid sugar and processed foods. I watched soccer because I enjoy it. And I try my best to overcome my insane life and support social interactions as often as possible. My emotional relationship with my wife is also foundational. And sex is a self-care tool. Life often gets away. But we shoot for every other night. (Thought about not including sex. But I think it’s a really important part of a happy, balanced life, that we don’t talk about enough in our culture. Whether you focus on the orgasm, the intimacy, or both, it’s hard to argue it they don’t contribute to happiness.) I also try to spend a lot of time in my garden in the summer.

So, you may not that I said “ideally,” “try to,” and “shoot for” quite a bit. Of course, you could argue that’s not strictly a routine or a regimen. But at this point in my life and journey with ADHD, I’m pretty good at prioritizing and executing on my priorities. But I certainly recommend more structure for any of my clients. And I definitely institute more structure with self-care activities that rank higher on the importance to me scale. Sleep is always foundational. Exercise is next on the list. Maintaining my relationship with my wife and sex. (I would argue those are two separate things that have a lot of overlap.) Everything after that gets a little bit more optional. But that’s me.

I think self-care success is about figuring out what’s important to you and what will sustain you. As with every behavioral change, this involves recognizing what is working and what is missing. It involves my two favorite words that start with the letter I. Intentional. Intense. Identify what’s important to you and pursue it within intensity. I think I would like to take away from this to be the emphasis on the phrase “to you.” This is about self-care. Self. It’s not about fulfilling expectations or pleasing anyone else. It’s about deciding what’s important for your mind, body, soul, sanity, etc. Everything in life has an input and output ratio. Focus on the self-care activities that yield the greatest benefit for you. If there are some that yield a great output without a lot of input, even better. And, for the love of God, don’t beat yourself up if you’re not perfect. It’s self-care, not self-flagellation. Take off the hair shirt and do something for yourself that’s good for you and feels good. Doesn’t that seem like a sensible place to start?

Standard disclaimer… Content, not perfection. Done is beautiful. yada, yada, yada