Quick tip. When you are trying new medications for anything it is a really good idea to keep a brief but rigorous journal of the dates, names, dosages, effects, side effects, etc. The average human being has a hard time remembering this stuff. It is especially tough for those of us with aDHD. But this is tremendously helpful data for you and your doctor. It will help you get where you need to be now and may be a valuable resource in the future, when if will be even harder to remember the details. Don’t make it into a complicated process or you are likely to do it. Develop your own code or shorthand. Set an alarm to do it daily at a time when you feel attentive. In addition to start dates, changes keep daily records. I suggest that you track the following on a daily basis: -Time taken -When it seems to wear off (if applicable) -Mood -Attention -Any other effects good or bad -Summary of your behavior Standard Disclaimer: In an effort to foil my own perfectionist tendencies, I do not edit my posts much… if at all. Please and typos, mistakes, grammatical errors, or awkward phrasing. I focus on getting my content down. An imperfect post completed is better than a perfect post that goes unposted.

Actually, I’m tremendously anxious and borderline terrified about what comes next for our country. But, I’ve still got seven clients today who need me. I’ve still got a wife and two kids. I still have a business, and a home, and bills, and responsibilities.  As ADHDers we can get very “stuck” when something goes wrong, goes very well, scares, excites us, or gets in our head. That thing can become a roadblock that may seem insurmountable. I think it is a valuable life skill to learn to put those extreme thoughts and feelings “in a box.” There will be a time and a place to address them, but they can’t become a roadblock to the rest of our lives. I learned this lesson from a fantastic chef I used to work for named Carmen Qualiata. I was working for him at The Vault at the time… maybe 13 years ago. One day I got a call from my mom who told me that my grandfather had fallen and broken his neck. He was 92 at the time, I believe. When I got to work I told Carmen what had happened and let him know that I was pretty shaken up. He absolutely had sympathy for me, but I also let me know that managing situations like this was what being an adult was all about. We all have our day to day baggage. It’s our job to leave it at the door and still do the job we have to do. I would say today falls in that category for me. I certainly don’t “feel fine.” But at the same time, I have to. So I’m going to check my baggage at the door and dive in to my work and my family. That’s all I can do, right?

Fantastic article on hoarding and a new public policy method of dealing with it in public housing right here in Boston. Remind me a lot of my approach with the clutter prone. Though I don’t work with really hoarders. The behaviors that are described in the article are very common among my organizing clients. Think about the statistic referenced about the percentage and number of hoarders projected to be living in the U.S. You know someone who has hoarding or at least borderline hoarding issues. 

5:20 is the end of my day. And, you can see that I added a few more things on the bottom right of the list and managed to get them done. I actually had more than 20 minutes to relax at the end of the day having gotten everything done. Again, the point is not that I ended up getting everything done. That hardly ever happens. The point is that I managed to be productive from the minute I got out of bed through my whole day and got so much more done than if I hadn’t made the schedule. And it felt so good at the end of the day to look at my To Do List and see all this stuff crossed off and know that the rest of my week was going to be so much easier as a result. 

Here’s a picture of the same schedule as of 11am. That’s a good time for me to reassess because it’s when I take my second dose of meds (Concerta) and that more or less divides my day.  You may note that I’ve skipped one thing in the a.m., added a bracket full of things that came up that I wanted to get done in the morning. [Important note: those things also went onto my To Do List. Ultimately that is where they get accounted for. This schedule is a tool to help get them accomplished.]  You can also see that I assessed one afternoon task and considered trying to multitask with another item.  So far so good. But to be honest with everyone, it rarely goes this smoothly. But, it seemed to make sense to post pics of a list that didn’t get to crazy with scribbles and arrows and such. Plus, I’m hoping this reinforces the idea of how productive one can be when the planning piece is there. 

I have been working with many of my clients lately to help them with daily scheduling. Once they have gotten going on the To Do List, the daily schedule is the next step toward efficiency and control of time management. I’ve posted a few of my own daily schedules in the past, but I’m not sure they are easy to find on the blog or that the pictures came out great. So, I’m going to post a few pictures in a series of posts that show how I moved through one day using my daily schedule. The picture attached to this photo is the list that I made for Oct. 25th. As I always suggest, I wrote it out the day before just before the I knocked off for the day at 5:05.

How ADHD affects women and girls differently is an important area of research. The more research that is done, the more we know that ADHD does in fact affect women differently and that hormones play a large role in that. Great mini article from CHADD on the topic. It is written by Dr. Patricia Quinn who is the person to read when you want to learn about ADHD in women and girls. Also an excellent speaker. I heard her speak five or so years ago at Brown. Very engaging. Check out the article:

My wife forwarded me this link. It is a powerful story and a beautifully written article. And, it so happens that the author/family happen to be family friends. And, no, it is not an ADHD related issue. However, I remember vividly the “debate” about whether ADHD was real. I assure you that it is. Though there are still deniers out there. Ignorance is hard to eradicate. Well, I think there is a comparison to be made to transgender issues. For the vast majority of us, gender is simple. For most of us sexuality is pretty straightforward. So, we assume that it is like that for everyone. Apparently, that is not the case for everyone.  It takes courage, humility, and an open heart to embrace the idea that our own personal experience is not the only experience. I for one have only been inside me. I don’t assume to know what it is like inside anyone else. Our society only benefits when we realize that our strength is in our diversity. It is hard for me to fathom what it is like to feel like you were born in the wrong body. (If that is even an accurate characterization.) But my sample size of one hardly covers the breadth of human experience. I applaud those who have the courage to be who they are without reservation or apology. So, I’ve chosen to celebrate one such family here. Cheers!

On the occasions that I am asked to write accommodation letters for student clients I like to post them (with identifying information removed, of course) so that other parents can see examples of what to ask for and how to ask. This is the first letter I’ve written to a private school. So I thought it was important to post it. If you’ve read any other’s that I’ve posted, you’ll notice that I’m much less forceful, as I don’t believe private schools have an obligation to accommodate anyone. (Please forgive any formatting weirdness. This was copied and pasted from a Word document.)  

Finding answers on the internet is super easy… …finding accurate answers about ADHD on the internet is not so easy. when I’m looking for specific information online I know enough to sort through the garbage and find the answers I’m looking for. You may or may not have that level of expertise. Here are a few links to sites that explain ADHD and/or depression related medication stuff accurately and clearly.  Anti-depressants: Good list of medications with details: I have a great graph that I found online with durations and effects of stimulants. But, I can’t seem to find it again. Shows how hard it is to find the good stuff sometimes…

(Always Grinding? Post continued…) I have always talked about the importance of not just working. Even if you really, really enjoy your work, it’s not healthy to hyper-focus on just one aspect of your life. That was another reason that my restaurant career burnt me out. It didn’t allow for the time to keep my life well rounded. I wasn’t able to have the social life I wanted and needed. I didn’t have the intellectual stimulation that I craved. Nor did I have the athletic and competitive outlets that are important to me. When I left cooking I was able to start playing Ultimate Frisbee again and get back into shape over a course of years. I was able to see my wife more and we often have friends over for dinner as a social outlet. Then my business got busier and child no. 2 came along. And, I fell back into a pattern of always “grinding.” Work, family, sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat. Even my hobbies became burdens. I have a huge garden that just felt like a chore this spring and brought me tons of stress. I would tell myself that I would work my ass off Monday through Thursday and then do “nothing” on Friday. And, I would either still work all day on Friday or get to Friday and still be so revved up from the week that couldn’t enjoy any down time. At that point I realized that something had to change. But what was that something? Turns out it was more than one thing. One of my first epiphanies was that I don’t actually like to do “nothing.” I usually require more stimulation than that. So I was setting myself up for failing at relaxing when I was assuming that relaxation meant doing nothing. I…

So, I’ve obviously taken much of the summer off from posting. But, I’m hoping to post on a more regular schedule this fall, perhaps once a week… We’ll see. To get back into the swing of things I’d like to share what I focused on this summer. I really tried to learn how to relax. That probably seems like a strange thing to work on, but it’s what I needed. I grew up in Newton MA, a nice Boston suburb. Newton has excellent schools and a pretty intense academic environment. I pushed myself to take advanced classes and do well in them. With my level of attentional challenges and the fact that I’m not the fastest reader, this meant working very, very hard. Not that other kids, even the neuro-typical ones, don’t work hard. But what it meant for me was that I felt like I was always “grinding.” I took my sciences during the summer. No camp for me. I spent most of my vacations catching up on writing papers, except for the years that the stress of getting to the break left me super sick for my week “off.” Also, in typical ADHD fashion, even when I wasn’t working, I was stressed about what I wasn’t doing. I took this mindset into an harsh, demanding, and unforgiving career as a professional chef. If you’re not “grinding” in the kitchen, you’re not going to get anywhere. For much of my restaurant career 14 or even 16 hour days were not unheard of. Not surprisingly, I ended up totally burnt out. So I started my own business. More “grinding.” There is always more to do when you work for yourself, especially when you are building that business. I don’t say the following to toot my own horn. I build a…