So, I used to be a professional chef. My degree is in culinary. I have been cooking for nearly 20 years. But I still have to use external structures to keep myself on track. As you can see from the picture, I still start my day with a detailed prep list and a detailed schedule. And, I take notes about anything I’m doing for the first time, may not remember, am trying to perfect, or might not make for a while. (And I use a timer!)  Bottom line: I start with structure that is well thought out and leaves wiggle room. Then I track my progress and capture all the data I need to be as successful or more successful the next time… even if it’s a year later. (How often to you make stuffing?) Hope the picture is good enough.

ADHD INERTIA 1 a :  a property of ADHD people by which they remain (indefinitely) at rest or in (constant) motion (rarely) in the same straight line unless acted upon by some external force b :  An ADHDer in motion tends to say in motion; an ADHDer on the couch tends to stay on the couch

I have had a pill fob on my key chain for 20+ years. I recommend it highly. It’s “key” to have pills with you on the go incase plans change, forgetfulness happens, etc. I recommend this one from the Herrington catalogue: http://www.herringtoncatalog.com/search?utf8=%E2%9C%93&q=fob&button=search They seal great and last forever. Get the larger one if you have any larger pills like Metadate or Concerta. The skinny one is great for regular acting tabs. I sometimes put a crumpled up tissue in the top to make sure the pills don’t go flying around and get ground into powder.

This is the term I use to explain how we priorities what we decide to do when we are not managing our attention particularly well. We will pick activities to avoid other activities, even if the first one is something that we don’t want to do. I think of a college kids who avoids his/her laundry for weeks and weeks… until it is time to study for mid terms. Suddenly, laundry seems like a good idea because it is ever so slightly better than studying. That kid then does a whole day of laundry and doesn’t get any studying done.  What do you avoid? What do you do to avoid the hard stuff?

Life is the ultimate Choose Your Own Adventure book. (Remember those?!) We are always making decisions about what path to follow. Sometimes letting go of the path we are on is the right decision. Personally, I have quitting and giving up on anything. I think it is an overcompensation for my inherent lack of follow through. Like the typical ADHD person, I used to have trouble finishing what I started and would often jump from one thing to another when I got bored or something got challenging in certain ways. In an effort to overcome this part of my ADHD personality I went really far in the other direction. I’m pretty militant about following through on what I start. Problem is that sometimes I start stuff that I should give up on and stick it out way to long. This applies to big things and small things. I certainly stayed with my first career as a chef for way to long. I was afraid to change and didn’t want to admit that I hated my job and my life because of it. Somehow that felt like a failure, a defeat. What I recognize now, looking back (many years later) was that my almost maniacal desire to keep on the track I had chosen, robbed me of (potentially) years of happiness. Being a Chef was great for me when I was 25 and hyper. It was not great for me at 30 with a family. And that’s okay! Things change. Leaving that profession doesn’t mean I screwed up, made a bad decision or failed. (And, even if it had been correcting a bad decision, we don’t really need to follow through on a bad decision to prove a point, right?) My career is a larger issue, obviously. But, learning to let go some of…

No system is fool proof, lasts forever, or is devoid of the need for maintenance. I’m sure I’ve referenced my favorite Thomas Jefferson quote on the blog before, “No one axiom can be deemed wise and expedient for all times and circumstances.” I bring it up again because it has relevance on this topic. Just because something worked for 5 years, or 20 years doesn’t mean that it will work forever. Per usual, here’s an example from my life. As I’ve mentioned before, I had some struggles with anxiety and depression over the winter and through the summer. (I’m doing really well now though, thanks for asking!) I know enough about myself to know that when I’m struggling getting exercise is as important as ever. If I can work out every day I feel a sense of accomplishment, even if everything else is a struggle. And, form a physiological standpoint, working our will help my brain chemistry by producing more of the dopamine and serotonin that I need. I’m normally very disciplined about getting my exercise.  That changed as my mood cratered earlier this year. My previous m. o. had been to keep one block free in my client schedule in the middle of the day to take a break and work out. This had been successful for years. But it stopped working. I found that if I got to a certain point in my day I simply couldn’t muster the “motivation” to work out. By the end of the day I would feel the lack of exercise and would feel worse. It took me a little while, but I realized that my system wasn’t working anymore. One of the variables of my life had changed and I needed to adapt.  I realized that I felt the best right after getting out of the shower in the morning. I…

It has been my experience that as ADHDers we can see the potential in so many situation and in so many items. We don’t see a toilet paper roll. We see an art project. This is at once one of our greatest strengths and one of our most present challenges. What I have found is that we often ignore the process that will get to our desired end result in favor of focusing on the pleasing idea of the result. We will often get lost in all the wonderful possibilities and not actually follow through on many or any of them.  I find it helpful to help my clients refocus on the process. Because if we are not interested in engaging in the process, we will never achieve the end result. Here are two examples from my life. I have always been an athlete. Sports have been my “happy place” since I was 3 years old. And, one of the reasons that I’m very good is that I love the practice as much as the games. I love doing drills, honing my skills, and doing the things that it takes to be better. On the other hand, I’ve always wanted to play an instrument. For a long time it was guitar. I bought myself a guitar with my graduation money from culinary school. I took some lessons… and flamed out. I just didn’t enjoy practicing. I want to play guitar, but not enough to actually practice.  This really illustrates my point, but also the idea that if we are not interested, our brains don’t set us up for success at pushing though the boring part. There has to be an intrinsic desire for the process or the end result has to be so powerful that it pushes us to get through the…

I recently received this email from a colleague, Joe Moldover. Joe is a great resource. If either of these topics piques your interest, I would consider attending. First, on Wednesday October 7 from 7:15 to 8:45 I will  be speaking on the topic of Nonverbal Learning Disability, Asperger’s Syndrome, and High Functioning Autism: Why the Confusion? This will be hosted at the Academy Metrowest in Natick. It is free of charge. RSVP to the Academy at 508 655 9200 or info@academymetrowest.com. Then, on Tuesday October 27 from 7-9 PM I am excited to be joined by Attorney Dan Heffernan and Dr. Scott McLeod for a free online webinar: Educating the Whole Child: Advocating and Caring for Students with Social/Emotional Disabilities. We had two very successful webinars last year; if you missed them they are posted online at www.drmoldover.com. One of the nice aspects of these events is that they are held live, and you will be able to submit questions and comments for Dan, Scott and I from the comfort of your home!

I’ve tried to apply the micro lesson learned on the roads of Boston to the macro of the rest of my life. I have impossibly high standards for myself. I’ve learned to mellow out on my self criticism over the years to my great benefit. I tend to still be pretty demanding of the world around me and the people in it. I can get frustrated/angry by little things that people do that I can perceive as rude or oblivious. For example, it drives me crazy when other kids are rude, pushy, or territorial at the playground. My kids are on the small size and my oldest is particularly conflict averse. He’ll just walk away and be sad rather than stand up for himself. But, in the grand scheme that’s a good thing. Anyway, when he was younger, I would get so angry at the parents who let their kids run wild and assumed that they were lazy or bad parents and that the kids were just undisciplined bad kids.  Five years later as my youngest is just playground age, I’m in a different place… most of the time. I think much of my progress has to do with my current profession. Rather than assuming “that kid” is just a jerk with bad parents, I’m much more likely to think that he/she must have some issue. Maybe Mom and/or Dad are great parents dealing with a challenging situation and a challenging child. This compassionate approach that is defined by empathy instead of anger was difficult to cultivate, for me at least. But it is a much more adaptive way to to go through life. Even if they are bad parents and the kid is an out of control spawn of satan… it doesn’t do me any good to think/assume that. There’s nothing I can do about it. That anger…

As part of the curriculum at coaching school we practiced coaching each other while supervised by our instructors. I found it to be the best part of my education there. ADDCA. Mostly I got a lot out of when I was coaching. But I remember one particular time that I got a lot out of being the volunteer client. I was being coached by a classmate who was German. Her name was Cordula. (Sp?) I was having trouble thinking about what to talk about. I didn’t want to bring up anything super deep or potentially time consuming. All I could think of was talking about how I get angry when behind the wheel. I am a very good drive. I happen to be gifted when it comes to spacial relationships. And I don’t have a lot of patience for those who are not as adept as I am on the roadways of the Greater Boston area.  Honestly, I didn’t even think there was much to talk about on this topic. But Cordula did a great job pulling out some typical ADHD negative thinking. As it turns out, she helped me realize that I was driving around assuming that everyone was a self-entitled, self-important, asshole. As a result, I was almost looking for other drivers to piss me off and was taking it personally when they did something outrageous. I would let the anger smolder and really upset me. Once Cordula helped me realize this, she proposed other options. Maybe someone in the other car is struggling with ADHD, had a tough day, etc.  The bottom line is that assuming something kind hearted about the person who just cut me off does two things. For one, it allows me to have empathy instead of anger. And, it allows me to move…

So, I know that initiation is probably the hardest part of sticking to a work out routine. And, if you are a regular reader, you know that I’m a huge believer in the power of exercise to help us with our attention. So, I do end up writing a bit on the subject. Well, here’s another one. I’ve been trying to keep track of my workouts and how I feel so I can share any tips and tricks I can. One thing that I’ve noticed is 13 minutes. At 13 minutes I start to feel better. My anxiety lessens, my head clears, my focus ramps up, and I start enjoying the workout if I hadn’t been already. So 13 minutes usually leads to 30 or even 40 -50 minutes.  So, I ask you this, person who has trouble getting the couch: can you do something for 13 minutes that will make you feel better? I think you can. Worst case scenario: you work out for 13 minutes a day!

At our last CHADD parents support group meeting of the year in June a family had a very strong positive recommendation for an educational advocate down in Attleboro. I have had no personal interaction, but the recommendation from the parent was strong enough that I thought I should post the name. I know how hard it is to find good advocates. Chris Atwood ckatwood52@comcast.net (508) 414-3380