My Blog: ADHD Since 1978-

Family planning… Not the kind they have on the back wall at CVS

Our society has not caught up with the idea of two parent working families. In this country we don’t have enough time off, we don’t have enough vacation, we work too many hours, and we don’t value the family nearly enough, even though we say we do. And as you know from my previous writings, it’s not just you. It’s really hard to raise kids with issues. It’s also not so easy to manage a family and household if one or both of the adults have ADHD. The single greatest piece of advice I can give you, which I give…

managing depression in the context of ADHD… Or in general

so you can probably tell it’s been a while since I posted. It is always a challenge for us ADHD folks to be consistent. I think of success as not being about falling off the horse, but about how fast we can get back on the horse. This tendency of ours to fall away from consistency is exacerbated by depression. if you don’t know, 85% of people with ADHD have at least one comorbidity, or co-occurring condition. Depression and anxiety are by far the most common. Those of you who read me regularly know that I’m open about my own…

Stress does weird things to you

I’m 43 years old. I have been taking stimulants since I was 10, more or less. Most people experience stimulant related insomnia based on the size of their dose and when they take their last dose during the day. I am at the extreme end of the scale. If I were to lick a ritalin at 10:00 a.m. I would not sleep that night. And it just so happens that I take about 160 mg of Ritalin derive stimulants every day because I’m not quite human. As a result, I did not take a nap for any reason other than…

the two voices in our ADHD heads

I find that there are always two voices in my head. Or maybe I should say there’s one voice that comes from two different places. There’s a voice that says I don’t want to do that thing. And then there’s a voice that says I can’t do that thing cuz I don’t have the attention right now. Learning to tell the difference is the key aspect of managing ADHD. I also think it’s a key aspect of managing anxiety. the first voice it’s not a helpful voice. But it becomes our default because everything is a lot harder for us…

“in medicine we don’t only treat the worst cases.”

I think that understanding this concept when dealing with ADHD is important and under recognized. And more than just ADHD, I think all psychiatric disorders can suffer from a reticence to be dealt with unless they’re extremely severe. As far as I’m concerned that is in regards to the spectrum of psychiatric disorders overall as well as within individual disorders. I think most of us would agree that treating a paranoid schizophrenic it’s probably a good idea. I think we’d all agree that treating someone with severe melancholic depression who has talked about, threatened, or attempted suicide is a good…

The scales of motivation

Imagine the statue of the Scales of Justice. Now just imagine her scale. Or if you’ve ever used a really old school baking scale, imagine that. Let’s call that the scale of motivation. Everything we do or don’t do has motivating and demotivating factors. Something as simple as getting up to pee when you’re reading an amazing book or can’t take your eyes off Stranger Things. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I hold it for quite a while if I’m doing something interesting. In fact, this can often make it harder to potty train ADHD kids. They tend…

How’s my new website?

by the way, for those of you who subscribe, please let me know if we’ve been successful at moving your subscription over to the new website. And feel free to check it out. New look. New logo. New content.

Do ADHDers get a bad rap for having bad memories?

Most people will tell you that those of us with ADHD don’t have a good memories. I thoroughly dispute this. I think there are two issues at work that make it look like we don’t have good memories. The first is our lack of attention. If we’re not deeply attending when something comes into our sensory universe, we don’t lock it in to our memory. So it’s not that our memory is faulty. It’s that we’re not paying attention in the first place. The other issue we have is that we do not have good situational memory. Part of the…

when to not be flexible with your ADHD kids?

so, I recently wrote a post about flexibility in the morning with my youngest in terms of him brushing his teeth after breakfast. You can refer to that if you’d like. But, there is another side. Not everything can be flexed to make it optimal for him. I use it glib and hyperbolic term to refer to the stuff we really need to focus on as “the hill we die on.” so the morning routine, in large part, doesn’t have to go in a certain order. As I discussed, there is a logical order. There is an order that makes…

What is your time worth as an ADHD adult?

Decision making can often be a difficult thing for those of us with adhd. And sometimes that means that we keep doing the thing that we’re doing because it’s the thing we’ve always done. Of course, I think that’s a human being thing too. But it’s important for us to reassess our methods, are values, and our priorities somewhat regularly. I’m pretty sure I’ve written about this before. But I’m also sure it’s been quite a while. When we decide how to spend our time, there are many competing forces. There is how much time we have. There is how…

structure and flexibility in parenting

this is my first attempt to post a new blog entry on my new and improved website 3.0. still dictating into my phone. Apparently the combination of the two doesn’t like to capitalize at the beginning of sentences… Sometimes. Anyway… so I wanted to share a situation it’s been happening with my youngest. He struggles with certain activities of daily life due to his emotional dysregulation. One of those things is brushing his teeth. I generally come from a place where I want to set up my routine to have fewer weak points as possible even if that means some…

Is it a relief to get a diagnosis?

So I noticed, now that I’m dictating my entries, they seem much longer. I would appreciate some feedback from my fuel oil readers as to whether or not these entries are too long. If they are, I can break them into pieces or make an effort to be more concise. I will say, generally their topics that I feel need a little time and energy. But I want to make sure that I’m satisfying the needs of those who actually read. So let me know if you feel like it, what your jam is. I tend to try to balance…