My Blog: ADHD Since 1978-

Step 10 to a BATDL

Celebrate. It is essential that you celebrate your victories. And every task that you cross off your BATDL is a victory. Unfortunately, I find that most of my clients attach what I call “Yeah, buts” to most of their successes. I got that done but… It took me too long.… I had to work late… It could’ve been more perfect… I had to be reminded… I didn’t get something else done… Regardless of whether or not these other things are true, it doesn’t take away from the victory. the reality of life with ADHD is that everything is harder for us than our Neurotypical counterpartss. And I don’t mean harder as in the traditional sense of difficult. It’s the boring, tedious, repetitive, every day things that are our kryptonite. It is significantly more difficult for me to muster be initiation and detention to do the laundry or empty the dishwasher than it is for my Neurotypical wife. This is not an excuse. I still expect myself to pull my weight in my relationship. It just takes more of my resources to do that. So whether it’s a big thing, or a small thing, I celebrate everything that I get done. I suggest you do the same. It’s very difficult to work hard to accomplish something and immediately attach a negative to it. That does not in sent you to work hard to do the next thing. But if you take a moment to celebrate your success, to truly experience feeling good about accomplishing something, you consolidate that good feeling into your sense of self and you feel accomplished. And that feeling will encourage you to accomplish more. And that will lead to more good feelings about yourself. And that will encourage you to accomplish more things. I think you see…

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Step Nine to a BATDL

CROSS ITEMS/TASKS OFF YOUR BADASS TO DO LIST! Crossing completed tasks off your BATDL in something like real time is practically and psychologically important. From the most literal and practical standpoint, crossing items off your BATDL means that YOU ARE BACK IN YOUR BATDL. The is the crux of the behavioral change you are trying to make. You do one to three tasks on your BATDL. Then you go to the BATDL and assess what to do next and why. Cycling through this behaviour throughout the day is the way to leverage your new BATDL to achieve peak efficiency. If you aren’t in and out of your BATDL all day, it will become less, and less relevant and eventually have little bearing on what you are actually doing. In that scenario, it can’t really help you. There are two really important ways that crossing items of your BATDL will greatly aid you psychologically. The first is very straightforward. It will show you that you are, in fact, accomplishing tasks. This is why I hate list apps that mysteriously move your crossed off tasks to a “To Done” list somewhere in fairyland. I can’t think of anything more demoralizing that a list that only shows the task that I haven’t completed day, after day, after day. I like progress. I like victories. If my list icon shows 20 task yet to do, I love being able to see that I’ve actually crossed off 22 items today. Sound like a good day, to me! The other best think crossing off tasks on your BATDL can do for you psychologically is to not just show you that you have gotten “something done,” but give you a real record of your progress. As ADHD people, (and probably humans in general,) we tend to not…

Read MoreStep Nine to a BATDL

Step Eight to a BATDL

EVERYTHING ON YOUR BADASS TO DO LIST MUST BE ACTIONABLE! Your BATDL is not a vision board. Your BATDL is not your five year plan. Your BATDL is not a compendium of all your hopes and dreams. Your BATDL is not a place to use magical or wishful thinking. Your BATDL is about the task you NEED to complete to make your live move forward. As such, every task on this list has to be actionable… now. Obviously, that doesn’t mean that you have to complete every task now. That would be nuts. You can only do one thing at a time. But all the items on your BATDL very much have to be discreetly actionable items. A few quick but very different examples. Laundry. I would argue that you can’t put “laundry” on your BATDL. It is not really a task, in and of itself. Laundry is made up of these tasks in my household: Sort laundry, strip beds, start laundry, make my youngest’s bed, make our bed, fold laundry, and put laundry away. Yes, the breaking down of this larger item in to actionable tasks may be filed under No. 7, breaking things down into pieces. But the way you might know that it needs to be broken down is because the item itself is so broad as to not really have a meaning and is not actually doable. There are also times in life when we forget what I call, “the prerequisite tasks.” Our tendency is to just put that last task in a chain on the list. Generally speaking, when our brains see that task on our list and know there are several other, not accounted for task we need to do first, we tend to freeze and avoid. But if you can notice this as…

Read MoreStep Eight to a BATDL

Life lesson about loss.

This is not specifically an ADHD topic. Though our particular wiring may make it more relevant. I don’t know. I’ve been a person with ADHD and mostly work ADHD people. And, this will be a one week hiatus from the BATDL topics. My mom has untreatable COPD, despite never being a smoker or around second hand smoke much at all. If you don’t know, COPD basically makes it so that your lungs don’t work. She has deteriorated quite a bit in the last six months. And she started home hospice last week. My wife, kids, and I have said goodbye. But there could be a month left. The not knowing is really hard. The last week has been very difficult. My attention has been dreadful, largely because my mood has been awful. I’m not a big cryer. I’m more of a “handle logistics now and be classically sad later” kind of guy. So, I’m not wandering around weeping. But I’m not myself. I has taken me all week to feel like I have enough attention to sit down and bang out some blog posts. And, I couldn’t even go through my inbox Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. It has also been difficult being 100% present with my clients. I haven’t told any of my clients because I don’t want to make their sessions about me. And, I don’t think that they would notice how much harder I have to work to be present. But everything has been a challenge. This leads me to the lesson that I learned when I was in my early/mid 20’s. I was working for a brilliant but very, very tough chef named Carmen at a restaurant in the financial district called The Vault. It was an intense and gruelling job on the best days. One day,…

Read MoreLife lesson about loss.

Step Seven to your BATDL

CHUNKING: BREAKING TASKS DOWN INTO THEIR CONSTITUENT PIECES. The easiest way to explain this is to say that, big things are scary and small things aren’t. Buy a house is scary. Get prequalified, decide on towns to look in, figure out your price range, get a realtor, make a list of “must haves,” etc. aren’t so scary. Maybe a little scary, but not nearly as much. Even, “get a realtor” might seem scary. Ask your friends and neighbors for recommendations is even more straightforward and less intimidating. Bear in mind that the primary job of your list is to capture items in the moment. So, don’t worry about breaking things down in the moment. That will feel overwhelming at least some of the time. If you feel overwhelmed by using your BATDL, you won’t use it. Just get it captured and then break the larger task down later, when you are more optimal. Know that this will make your BATDL many times longer. Just remember that all those steps are actually tasks that you need to accomplish anyway. And the number icon on your list…is just a number. In fact, having so many actionable tasks to cross off will make you love your BATDL even more as you see how often you get to cross things off. Standard disclaimer: When posting my thoughts here, I feel that content is far more important than perfection. I try to practice what I preach that ‘done’ is better than ‘not done…perfectly.’ So, unlike with my book, I don’t edit much, if at all. I hope you can look past any small imperfections and find the content useful.

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Step Six to a BATDL

Before I start with today’s entry, I want to celebrate for a minute. I finally finished my book last week. 209 pages of really good stuff. When I say finished, I mean version 4.2 or something like that. A relatively polished version that is ready to be edited. So, hopefully I can have a final version in a matter of weeks. If anyone knows a publisher… Back to the post. The sixth step to a BadAss To Do List is very closely related to Step Five. Now that you know that your list consists ONLY of the important tasks in your life, you will need to be diligent about putting ALL your important tasks on your list. This might seem obvious to some of you. But almost every one of my clients mentally ‘silos’ their task into, BATDL “worthy” tasks & NOT BATDL “worthy” tasks. Each client might have a different definition for each of those silos. Regardless, it is a mistake. The job of your BATDL is to capture ALL of the tasks you need to complete, so that they are in one centralized location. Don’t forget that, floating around in your head, is a place. You may not be leaving random scraps of paper all over your kitchen or putting Post-it notes all over you office. But when you divide your tasks between BATDL and your working memory, you are still dividing. Any task that there is any possibility of your forget, OR any task that would cause you to lose efficiency by forgetting, even for a short time, at the moment when you need to remember it need to go on your BATDL. That voice in your head that says, “I’ll remember that. I don’t need to put that on my list.” is lying to you. Even…

Read MoreStep Six to a BATDL

Step Five to a BADASS To Do List

There will be a really long chapter in my book about prioritization of what goes on the list and what doesn’t. I can’t hope to capture all of that information in this format. So this will be more like a summary of a summary, compared to the other posts so far. The bottom line is that only important tasks go on your BATDL. If you are constantly inundating your real, important tasks with junk, you will hate your list because it won’t be Badass. As people with ADHD, we need to set ourselves up for success by making it easy. In this case, the “it” is looking at your BATDL. If you look at your BATDL and every task on it is actually important, you almost can’t go wrong. If you are struggling at a certain point in your day, or week, you can just pick any task on your BATDL to accomplish, even one that feels easier. Because you know that every task is inherently important, you don’t need to worry about wasting your time. Even if the chosen task isn’t all the way at the top of the list, as long as you are not actively avoiding a more urgent task as an anxiety response, it doesn’t matter what you get done in those moments. Whatever task that is, becomes something that you don’t have to accomplish later. Also, remember that “importance” is still in the eye of the beholder and encompasses your whole like. Self care is important. Social relationships are important. Sleep and downtime are important. Date night with your spouse is a great example. Especially if you have young kids, planning a date night can feel like a real pain in the ass. And it is generally a task that my clients avoid planning…so it…

Read MoreStep Five to a BADASS To Do List

Step 4 to a Badass To Do List: Look at your list

In order for your BATDL to work for you, you need to look at it regularly. By regularly, I mean all day, everyday. A comprehensive list of all the tasks you need to complete is your best bet at living the most efficient and effective life you can. And that is a life that gives you the time to do the things that really want to do. If you struggle to remember to check your list, let alarms on your phone to remind you, at least nine times a day. And, don’t let your anxiety get in the way. Remember that the task you need to complete for your life…exist. They exist in an objective reality. Ignoring them will not make them go away and it will always make things worse. If you experience anxiety about looking at your BATDL, that’s okay. That’s part of the learning process. Know that your BATDL is still your BFF, even if the tasks listed on it are overwhelming. If you are actually capturing all the items and checking the list, that is an opportunity to work through your anxiety and learn that you can do it… with the help of your BATDL. This is a summary of the fourth chapter of my upcoming book: 10 Steps to a Badass To Do List: Task management for the ADHD brain. As always with my blog, I value content over perfection. I am not in the habit of editing much, if at all. I hope you enjoy the content. If any of my (hopefully minor) mistakes bother you… that’s on you. Maybe try meditating?

Read MoreStep 4 to a Badass To Do List: Look at your list

Step 3 on your way to a Badass To Do List: Go Digital

We live in a wonderful world of technology. Yes, it can be distracting for anyone, especially those of us with ADHD. But, if we can use technology as a tool, not a toy, it can help us manage our ADHD in ways that weren’t even dreamt of a generation ago. If you a one of the cool kids, like me and have an android phone, ColorNote is the best app in the history of apps. If you are an iPhone person, it’s okay, nobody’s perfect. I suggest Microsoft To Do. It’s not perfect, but I meets the main criteria and will get the job done. I suggest these apps because they can create a BATDL that is as close to a regular, paper and pencil list as possible, with three key advantages because they are digital. You can sort tasks up and down your list, without having to rewrite it. You can cross tasks off without having them disappear, as on my list apps, or become illegible, as on a paper list. Also, you can ‘batch’ delete all the crossed off tasks, in order to keep your BATDL nice and neat. Resist the temptation to make it more complicated. No starts, color-coding, due dates, flags, sub lists, sub tasks, or daily lists. Just sort the more important and more urgent items to the top of the list, and it will never let you down. This is a summary of the third chapter of my upcoming book: 10 Steps to a Badass To Do List: Task management for the ADHD brain. As always with my blog, I value content over perfection. I am not in the habit of editing much, if at all. I hope you enjoy the content. If any of my (hopefully minor) mistakes bother you… that’s on you.…

Read MoreStep 3 on your way to a Badass To Do List: Go Digital

Step Two to a Badass To Do List

You have to have your BATDL with you all the time. The ADHD brain is a wild, exciting, and unpredictable thing. And, it is absolutely bananas living inside one. Even effectively medicated, I am hardly neurotypical. No ADHDer is. We can amuse and befuddle our closest people with the tangents and leaps that our superbrains make. And it is all logical to us. You just don’t see/hear the 14 thoughts between the last thing you said and the perfectly reasonable (but wildly out of left field to the rest of the world) thing I said next. I point all this out to illustrate that we are not always in charge of what’s going on between our ears. And, as magical as that maelstrom can be, it doesn’t always help us be productive and efficient. Which is why it is essental that we capture our important task immediately in the moment. If we don’t, our brain with be three steps ahead and that task might be lost for quite a while. Also, when that thought does come back, grab it and capture it right away. You might remember a task when you are in the shower. You might remember a task on the subway. You might remember a task in bed at night. You might remember a task while folding laundry. And, there is, literally, no time like to present to capture that task on your BATDL. The secret is that you don’t actually have to remember anything. Really. Well, hardly anything. You just have to remember to capture your task and check your BATDL. If you can do that, nothing will slip through the cracks. How awesome will that be? Rhetorical question. But, I’m going to answer it. It’s completely awesome. I spent many years on this planet wondering what…

Read MoreStep Two to a Badass To Do List

Step 1 to a Badass To Do List

Your list must be a master list. It is likely that you will have a Badass work To Do List (wBATDL) also. But that is for that 9-5 time frame/sphere of your life. But for all the other task that you need to complete, it is essential to have a single, master list. Why? The simple answer is: working memory. You might be familiar with the ADHD trope of the guy with 100 Post-it notes. But you probably have never asked yourself if all those Post-it notes are actually helping that guy. Well, probably not that much. Working memory is the ability to hold things in our mind AND manipulate them. This is a notorious weakness of ADHDers. So, it can be very hard for us to hold multiple tasks in our mind while prioritizing them. But having all of your tasks in one place allows you to move those tasks around, reprioritize them without having to actually hold them all in ours minds. So, don’t make sub lists, daily lists, long term lists, etc. Just put all your task on one master BATDL and it will make your life so much easier. Just don’t get overwhelmed by having everything in one place. Remember, those task exist. They exist whether or not you capture them on the list. But having them all on one BATDL is you best bet for doing them and doing them in a timely and efficient fashion. This is a summary of the first chapter of my upcoming book: 10 Steps to a Badass To Do List: Task management for the ADHD brain.

Read MoreStep 1 to a Badass To Do List

10 Steps to a Badass To Do List

I’ve taken quite a bit of time off from this blog to work on my first book, 10 Step to a Badass To Do List, task management for the ADHD brain. I am currently editing and putting some final touches on the 4th draft. I will be sending it out to readers after that. As I am in the home stretch, I thought I would get back to posting here regularly. And, since I’ve never posted anything about the 10 Steps, I thought it would be a good time to post some concepts, takeaways, and maybe even some excerpts from the current draft. I may mix in some posts on other topics, as I am prone to philosophical musings on many topics. But, to start, here are the 10 Steps. Of course, I generally take almost a full session to teach this to my clients. There’s a lot of nuance. I will be posting more of the details. And, eventually, you’ll be able to buy my book. Standard disclaimer: When posting my thoughts here, I feel that content is far more important than perfection. I try to practice what I preach that ‘done’ is better than ‘not done…perfectly.’ So, unlike with my book, I don’t edit much, if at all. I hope you can look past any small imperfections and find the content useful.

Read More10 Steps to a Badass To Do List