My Blog: ADHD Since 1978-


Do we really need more hours in the day?

So, dictating these entries into my phone seems to be going well. And it’s definitely faster than typing. I don’t know why the voice recognition works better on my phone than it does in Google docs. I have an android. You would think it’s the same stuff running behind the scenes. Anyway, it appears that my typo rate is about the same so I’m going to stop apologizing for any potential voice recognition snafus. And I will just get on with it. I think I have not met an ADHDer who didn’t want more hours in the day. But I…

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Success Journal: Consolidating successes & building real confidence

I’m pretty sure this is a human thing. But it is also a decidedly ADHD thing. The thing being, not being so good at remembering when we did well, overcame obstacles, tackled our anxiety, and generally succeded in an unexpected (to ourselves) way. Again, having only been an ADHD person and having mostly coached and studied ADHD people for the last decade plus, I come from the ADHD perspective. If my thoughts are more broadly applicable, great. Over the years I’ve done a lot of thinking about why ADHDers are not so good at consolidating positive experiences and using them…

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Slowing down in the moment

This is my second attempt to post a blog entry only using voice recognition on my phone. Hopefully it will also be successful. Last time seemed to go well. I will ask you to bear with me if there are any weird typos related to autofill. There are so many moments in our day when something small and useful, perhaps even vital, definitely efficient, seems like a big deal. Ultimately, we don’t have an accurate understanding of what attention is. The ability to do the unpreferred thing that feels tedious boring or overwhelming. That is attention. Just as much as…

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Why I don’t believe in procrastination

First of all, I’m using voice recognition on my phone to write this sitting in a parking lot while my youngest is in OT. I hope it works. And I hope it comes out legible and linear. Hooray technology! Hooray multitasking! So I don’t believe in procrastination. I believe it is a label we put on a behavior that we don’t understand. Nobody gets up in the morning and says to themselves, I’ve got something really important to do and it’s going to negatively affect me if I don’t do it but, damn it, I’m just not going to do…

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Don’t Reinvent the Wheel Systematize And Things Won’t Fall Through The Cracks

One of the biggest problems that my clients and ADHDers in general have is that when they run into a problem, they are so stressed, overwhelmed, pressed for time, or perceive themselves to be rushed that they slap a proverbial band-aid on the problem but don’t take the time to really fix the underlying problem. (Side note: did I just start a post with a three line long sentence? FYI: I’m not fixing it!) Suggestion: Take a deep breath. Realize that you have a moment to at least capture said problem and potential solution on something like a To Do…

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ADHD friendly professional themes

I recognize that I and my practice is a small sample size. However, there is a body of research backing up what I’m about to write. So bear with me. I just don’t happen to have all the citations I should probably have. Picking your partner is probably the single most important decision that contributes to your happiness in life. Pick the right career(s) is a close second. Somewhere in there is making sure you are sleeping enough and well enough. Because between those three things, work, sleep, spouse, you’re looking at about 95% of your life. If any of…

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Own our own oddness

I will preface this by saying that I know that this is easier said than done. But I think the secret to life is not giving a shit what the world thinks about you. Of course, I believe myself to be a moral, ethical, good person. And, there are definitely people out there who need the restraints of what people think to keep them in line. But in our ADHD tribe, at least amongst the folks with whom I deal, there is a profound lack of confidence, a sense that everyone is judging us. And, I am not worried about…

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Perspective

As I return from a two week vacation, the first I’ve taken since my honeymoon almost 17 years ago, I have a new perspective on some things. I was reminded on the rainy day that we spend in Punta Cana that a rainy day in paradise is still a day in paradise. I think this is a lesson that I can translate into my everyday life. As bad as some things have gotten there is still much to be grateful for. Hopefully this resonates with y’all. “

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New Entry

Communication is maybe the most important aspect of any marriage or intimate relationship. Some might say honesty. Some might say love. Some might say having aligned values. Some might say sexual intimacy. Some might say compatibility. I probably wouldn’t argue with anyone who said any of those things. Making a marriage last is a complicated endeavor. But most of those things can be screwed up by a lack of communication. So, maybe I’m right after all. And, this is one of those topics that is both an ADHD topic and a general Life Coach topic. It’s come up in my…

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Boredom is our Kryptonite

Some of us are acutely aware of how we bend over backwards to avoid boredom, the possibility of boredom, the perception of boredom, or even the suggestion of boredom. But some ADHDers do it so instinctually, that they don’t even know that they are doing it.   Today’s post is sort of a challenge. I’m asking you to think about your behaviour. Think about the things that you struggle to do consistently. Think about the things you avoid. Think about why you are late. How much of it has to avoiding things that are, or even could be boring?  …

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Extended time for…???

Quick thought on accommodations today. I’ve recently gone through the IEP process with my oldest. And I’ve recently done the one year follow up with my youngest. 13 and almost 8 years old respectively. (Yes, I now have a teenager. Yikes!) As a consequence I have thought even more than usual about accommodations. I cannot tell you how many times I have dealt with a school system that has been more than willing to grant extended time to ADHD kids for in class assignments like tests and quizzes but looks at you like you have three heads when you ask…

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Cult of the Curious?

Really quick one today. Y’all know that I don’t do ANYTHING without music, podcast, sports, etc. As such, I like to share new podcasts that I get into. I recommend Time Suck with the comedian Dan Cummins. It’s weird, a little dirty, funny, and very educational. He takes a deep dive researching some weird topic that used to be a “time suck” for him. Now he makes it a funny podcast and we all get to learn. Check it out… if you’re over… 14… maybe.

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