My Blog: ADHD Since 1978-


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Communication is maybe the most important aspect of any marriage or intimate relationship. Some might say honesty. Some might say love. Some might say having aligned values. Some might say sexual intimacy. Some might say compatibility. I probably wouldn’t argue with anyone who said any of those things. Making a marriage last is a complicated endeavor. But most of those things can be screwed up by a lack of communication. So, maybe I’m right after all. And, this is one of those topics that is both an ADHD topic and a general Life Coach topic. It’s come up in my…

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Boredom is our Kryptonite

Some of us are acutely aware of how we bend over backwards to avoid boredom, the possibility of boredom, the perception of boredom, or even the suggestion of boredom. But some ADHDers do it so instinctually, that they don’t even know that they are doing it.   Today’s post is sort of a challenge. I’m asking you to think about your behaviour. Think about the things that you struggle to do consistently. Think about the things you avoid. Think about why you are late. How much of it has to avoiding things that are, or even could be boring?  …

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Extended time for…???

Quick thought on accommodations today. I’ve recently gone through the IEP process with my oldest. And I’ve recently done the one year follow up with my youngest. 13 and almost 8 years old respectively. (Yes, I now have a teenager. Yikes!) As a consequence I have thought even more than usual about accommodations. I cannot tell you how many times I have dealt with a school system that has been more than willing to grant extended time to ADHD kids for in class assignments like tests and quizzes but looks at you like you have three heads when you ask…

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Cult of the Curious?

Really quick one today. Y’all know that I don’t do ANYTHING without music, podcast, sports, etc. As such, I like to share new podcasts that I get into. I recommend Time Suck with the comedian Dan Cummins. It’s weird, a little dirty, funny, and very educational. He takes a deep dive researching some weird topic that used to be a “time suck” for him. Now he makes it a funny podcast and we all get to learn. Check it out… if you’re over… 14… maybe.

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Adapt and overcome & Fitness Tip #1

I’m pretty sure that’s the motto of the Navy Seals. I feel like we’ve all had to be special forces in one way or another in the past few years, especially as ADHDers. I’ve been adapting with my blog but not fast enough. As the peaks and valleys of the pandemic have rolled through, I’ve gone through times of pure survival and times of limited thriving. As I look back over my last few post, I looks like I did some straightforward topics but had the time to do some lengthy writing… then a month or so off. My goal…

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The power of persistence and calm

Quick nugget today. I haven’t written much about my task management system, 10 steps to a badass To Do List because I consider it kind of a proprietary system that, once upon a time, pre pandemic, I was writing a book about. But there is one To Do List adjacent topic I want to discuss today, as it has cropped up in my life heavily in the last few weeks. Whatever your system is for keeping track of the things you need to get done, or if you don’t have a system, those things probably cause you anxiety when there…

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Back in survive mode?

It looks like I haven’t posted since December 22nd. And, I will admit that that seems like a lifetime ago. This third wave, third variant, third winter, third strike, whatever you want to call it, has been hard on many of us. I’m not doing great. My clients aren’t doing great. My kids aren’t doing great. My friends aren’t doing great. I really hope you are. But if you are, know that you are the outlyer. I’ve stopped playing the drums and stopped posting blog entries. That’s one important thing from each half of my life that I just haven’t…

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Why MIND MAPS are the bomb!

It is no secret that ADHDers often have trouble with writing. But, as with most aspects of ADHD there is an element of counterintuitiveness with this struggle. Because this writing affliction strikes our population equally regardless of how well spoken and articulate we are. If you don’t understand how we’re wired, it will seem very strange that so many of us can speak clearly and articulately but when it comes to expressing our thoughts in writing we seem to lose our minds, get anxious, and can’t keep a linear train of thought. So what’s this all about? Since I have…

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Don’t compare yourself to…

  One of the biggest mental traps my clients fall into is comparing themselves to…   …to everyone and everything.   To celebrities. To other moms. To neighbors. To friends. To colleagues. To more wealthy people. To the Cleavers. To the Greatest Generation. To some Platonic ideal. To perfection.   None of it is worth it. Your experience is your own. It is unique. Own it. Love it. Work on yourself. Especially this time of year, be grateful for what you have and feel free to strive for more. But meet yourself where you are and work from there because…

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“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” Especially one’s self.

I added the last part. And, I’ll get to that. But I always thought that the first part was Shakespeare. Turns out, not so. It was most notably used by Alexander Pope, English poet and essayist in the early 18th century. But it roots may go back as for as Plutarch. (Thanks Gramarist.com.) But leave it to an ADHDer to start his post with a digression. My kids are pharmacologically… complicated. I do the Dr.’s appointments and run point on the meds, partly because being the “primary parent” is my role in the family and partly because that’s kind of…

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Science can be frustrating, right? But we need it more than ever!

I just turned 43. So maybe I’m just getting old. Maybe my brain plasticity is decreasing. Although… They used to say that adults had no brain plasticity. Now they say we do, just less than kids. They long ago figured out that the universe was expanding. I’m taking their word for it. Of course, I also took their word for the fact that it was expanding but slowing down. Now they tell me that the rate of expansion is increasing. Okay. Doesn’t really affect my life either way. So I’m going to roll with it. But it can get a…

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Halloween schedule

  As my faithful 28 readers know, I like to post schedules once in a while as a demo for my clients. Scheduling is one of the main skills we work on in coaching. After we learn to keep track of our tasks with the To Do List, we work on managing those tasks in time by using a daily schedule.   I’ve written much in the past about how and why I post schedules that an objective observer would deem a staggering success. I’ve also written about why I post schedules that have, to be kind, not at all…

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