If you know me or read my blog regularly, you’ll know that I’m a huge proponent of exercise as an important part of the overall treatment plan for ADHD, anxiety, and depression. (All of which I deal with.) And, you would know that since I got myself back on the exercise wagon after a late 20’s/ early 30th that were taken up by illness, injury, and a brutal lifestyle in the restaurant industry, I have worked out pretty much every day for at least three or four years, since my last surgery on my left knee. I rely on that exercise to keep me focused, even, and as mellow as I ever get. About three or four months ago I started having pain in my right heel. To make a long story short, the pain got worse to the point that walking was hard the day after I ran. Then it got so that I couldn’t run without pain. Then I couldn’t ride the spin bike. I’m not a total idiot. I’d been experimenting with short periods of rest in terms of cardio and doing more lifting. I iced, toke ibuprofen. I went to PT. I did my exercises. I even had my PT “dry needle” my heel twice. It was worth a shot… but still the most excruciating pain I’ve ever felt in my life and didn’t fix the issue.  Eventually, my PT said that I probably needed a cortisone shot so I got a referral for a foot doctor. I met with him and he gave me the shot on July 12th. It was like a miracle. Sure the shot hurt, but after that I’ve had no pain at all. I guess my first takeaway is that being in pain was affecting my mental state, my attention, and my…

Hey y’all. Here’s a quick, light post for summer. I like to regularly post some of my favorite podcasts. You can find those in the “library.” Here are some more. There are a few podcast “networks” that I tend to like. Wondery is probably my favorite. I know I’ve mentioned some of their ongoing shows in the past, like Business Wars and American Innovations. I’ve also recommended some of their limited run true crime shows like, Hollywood & Crime, Young Charlie, Dirty John, The Wonderland Murders, and Accused. Here are a few more that I’ve recently blown through.  Dr. Death. About a neurosurgeon in TX who seems to have missed part about “first do no harm.” Fascinating study of a system that might be broken. I listened to most of these 7 or so episodes in one day of yard work and garage cleaning. Ironic that a story about insanity helped keep me same doing that boring “life stuff.”  I’m currently rocking “The Shrink Next Door.” Also fascinating so far. I’m only two episodes in, but it got me through my food prep for the week and cleaning the kitchen.  Up next I”m going to check out, Gladiator: Aaron Hernandez and Football Inc. Happy listening… and whatever you can get done while listening!

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know that I often post my daily schedules as a way of showing how I make them and how helpful they are. I don’t actually make written schedules that often anymore. I’ve internalized the process to a large extent. But there is usually one day or so a month where I don’t have much on the calendar but need to get a ton done, when I do take the time to write out the schedule. I did exactly that on Tuesday. So when I post my schedules I tend to post ones that have gone according to plan. The goal isn’t to toot my own horn, but to demonstrate the power of consistently doing the schedule over time. You can get really, really good at it. But it has occured to me that always posting a schedule where I nail it may seem like an unattainable goal for some. Perhaps it might be equally as helpful to post one where things did not go as planned and talk about how I handled that. Because, yes, I’ve gotten really good at this. But the vast, vast majority of schedules I’ve made in my life have not gone according to plan. Half the battle in terms of progress is accepting that fact, but also recognizing that you’re still more productive with the schedule than you are without it. So, check out my schedule for Tuesday. It was 95’ish degrees and humid that day. And, unfortunately, most of what I wanted to do needed to be done outside. That is one of the main reasons that I made a schedule for Tuesday on Monday night. I new that I had to get outside and get some stuff done before the day got even…

I had a great moment yesterday with a relatively new client. We were talking about his To Do List and scheduling. I pointed something out by using myself as an example. I’m currently writing a book. By “currently” I mean that I’ve written about one third of it during one week in the late winter and haven’t had the time and/or focus to work on it since. I mentioned to the client that I have “work on book” on my To Do List, which is way to vague and that what I need to do is take a look at where I left off and break it down into specific goals on my list. To which he responded that I should put that step on my list. He was 100% correct. That is a change I will make today and maybe even get that thing done because it is now accounted for and actionable.  Standard Disclaimer:  In an effort to foil my own perfectionist tendencies, I do not edit my posts much… if at all. Please excuse and typos, mistakes, grammatical errors, or awkward phrasing. I focus on getting my content down. In my humble opinion, an imperfect post posted is infinitely better than a perfect post that goes unfinished.

I’ve recently written about how important it is to have the people in your life bring you energy rather than take it from you. By energy I don’t necessarily mean life force, chi, or something mystical. Although that could apply here. I mean the very practical, real life thing that we only have so much of. Let’s be honest, as ADHDers, our resources are finite and not always abundant in terms of energy and attention. Even those of us who have the “H” may have the physical energy but lack the mental energy at times.  If you’re with me in understanding that our resources are limited, we need to be extra careful about how we use those resources. It takes a lot of effort for me to get through the day. I guarantee it takes more than a neurotypical person. So my margin is much smaller. I don’t have the time and energy for people who are bad friends, bad to do business with or who cause me stress and anxiety. And make it a point not to have folks like that in my life.  I suggest you do the same. Of course it’s usually not so black and white. That person my be the father of your child or friend that you’ve had for years, but who’s never really been supportive. You have to weigh the good and the bad. I’ll be the first to acknowledge that nobody is perfect. But have boundaries. Know what lines people are not allowed to cross and hold strong in your conviction if they do. But in those gray areas talk to them. If someone who is important to you says or does something that you don’t care for, let them know in a respectful way. The vast majority of the time they…

If you have worked with me at all you probably know how I’m a fiend for my To Do List. I do it in a very specific way, and teach it in a very specific way that works great for how we ADHDers are wired. Well, there are rare occasions when the general To Do List isn’t enough. Very large and distinct projects may require their own To Do List. But applying the same skill to that projects lowers anxiety and increases efficiency.  Last week I had two-and-a-half days to flip a rental property for new tenants. I needed to paint the whole bathroom, including the ceiling, put in a new medicine cabinet, install a new ikea closet, touch up or paint all the rest of the rooms, and clean some stuff out among other small things. Plus it was 95 degrees that week and the unit isn’t air conditioned. Quite a big project. I knew the priority was the bathroom, so I started there and kept moving. Near the end of the first day I had accomplished a ton, but realized there was far more left to do. This kicked up my anxiety significantly. But, over the years I’ve learned to address and attach that anxiety instead of allowing it to rule me and force me into avoidance behavior. So, I took out a big fat pencil and made a list right on the ikea box. Then I estimated the time it would take to execute all of the steps.  Hopefully you are able to see in the pictures that the original list, not counting what I had already done added up to about seven-and-one-half hours of work left to do. So painting is not a thing I do regularly. Even with the data that I had accumulated from…

Many parents ask me if they should tell their kids about the ADHD diagnosis or any number of other diagnoses. For the most part, I think parents have a lot of fear around telling their kids that there is “something wrong with them.” Frankly, I think this is more of a hangup for the parents. It is my strong belief that you should tell you kids as much as you can as soon as you can. You may need to adjust the level for their age. But it has been my experience almost 100% of the time that kids understand more that most adults give them credit for. Let’s examine why parents don’t (want to) tell their kids the whole truth and why I think they are wrong. They don’t think their child will understand. It is your job as a parent to make them understand. And, like I said, they will understand more than you think. I give basically the same ADHD education talk to 12 year-olds as to do to adults. I just have to explain the vocabulary and some of the concepts a little differently. Analogies are very helpful. Plus, …they really need to understand if you are going to be giving them medication. You need to be able to have a frank and honest ongoing conversation about how the medication is working and how it is making them feel. If they don’t know why they are taking it, they can’t just its efficacy and will only associate it with any negative effects. Eventually, when they are old enough, they will stop taking it and things will get worse. And, …even under the best of circumstances, your child is going to grow and develop. That means their meds will need to be adjusted or maybe even changed…

I take some pretty strong stimulants. My meds are in the Ritalin family, so not as marketable as Adderall, but probably still valuable. There is also Focalin and two different flavors of benzodiazepines in our household. I would prefer if the average neerdowell walking down the street didn’t know what was hiding in my bedside table. So I peel the labels off my old pill bottles and recycle the bottles but crumple up and trash the labels. I also make a point to shred those ridiculous be legally necessary packets that come with the meds every time I fill them. I’m sure my trash guys are great, but a lot of recycling ends up blowing down the street the day after trash day. I rather it not be my prescription bottle or paperwork. Also, especially if you are a newly diagnosed adult and haven’t had to consider the ramifications of where to store you pills at college in the past, it may not occur to you have “valuable” they are. Please consider that when having anyone you don’t know well in your house, especially if you’re not there to supervise. A good general rule is to think about when you would be worried about cash or jewelry. In those situations, I would strongly consider safeguarding your meds the same way you safeguard your other valuables. Standard Disclaimer:  In an effort to foil my own perfectionist tendencies, I do not edit my posts much… if at all. Please excuse and typos, mistakes, grammatical errors, or awkward phrasing. I focus on getting my content down. In my humble opinion, an imperfect post posted is infinitely better than a perfect post that goes unfinished.

I’ve written a bunch about how I keep my pills organized. You should be able to find those posts with the search feature. But now I’m organizing pills, miralax, supplements, melatonin, and culturelle for my kids. That requires a new level of systemization. Most kids pills end up living in the kitchen. We have very little cabinet space and I didn’t love that they weren’t all in one place and mostly were above the toaster oven. Probably not great considering the heat. So I got pill containers for both of them for breakfast, dinner, and bedtime. And I got a corner shelf (totally free on the side of the road from a neighbor.) And, of course I always have alarms set and extra kids pills along with mine in my key fob. Standard Disclaimer:  In an effort to foil my own perfectionist tendencies, I do not edit my posts much… if at all. Please excuse and typos, mistakes, grammatical errors, or awkward phrasing. I focus on getting my content down. In my humble opinion, an imperfect post posted is infinitely better than a perfect post that goes unfinished.

I can’t remember if I’ve posted on this before. So, thanks for your patience if I have. I really like my wife. AND SHE REALLY LIKES ME! We have a great marriage and really complement each other. Despite my quirks, idiosyncrasies, weaknesses, and complexities, I’ve never, ever gotten the feeling that she didn’t love me for who I am exactly the way that I am. It’s possible I got that from my highschool girlfriend, but that I was too insecure to realize and appreciate it. But, I certainly never got that feeling from anyone else I’d been with before my wife. She has a saying about me, “It’s not that he’s a dick… He’s just intense.” But she loved that intensness almost right away. I will say this, and you’ll know it if you know me well, that I’m always working on myself. With 31 years post-diagnosis under my belt, I don’t always present as the ADHD partner that I am. But, I’m also not the easiest guy, being that I’m pretty intense pretty much all the time as a compensation method to not be ADHD guy. The reason I mention this is because I believe everyone has a right to be with a partner, or partners* who love them for who they really are. But we all have to do the work on ourselves to be the best version of that person. I think this extends to friends and even family as well. More on that in the next post. *I think that it is fair to note that in this day and age, the traditional nuclear family is only one of many structures that can work. As long as you are safe, happy, and loved, I do think it should matter what your family structure looks like. And,…

In other words, a quick update on my daughter. When I posted my entry about the trials and tribulations of parenting kids with issues my daughter was not in the best place. But, because I’m a tenacious son-of-a-gun, my wife and I are on the same page, and I have a world-class doctor, we have made substantial progress in the month since.  First, I want to thank everyone who gave my love and positive feedback about that post. I was pretty worried about saying some of the things that I said, but thought it was important. I’m glad it was well received. Thank you all. Second, don’t give up. My daughter is now on very low doses of three different meds. Not exactly how you draw it up for you 5-year-old. But she is back to the kids who spontaneously tells me that she loves me and falls asleep in my arms most recently at a friends BBQ on Sunday. For those who are against “medicating kids,” I got my daughter back… and I’d rather call it “treating kids” anyway. And, yes, sometimes that involves medication. One last note as it relates to my last post, (backdated to look like I posted it last week, but also written today.) When my daughter is not well, she is the definition of an energy-sucker for our whole family. And, our kids are the only people in our life who we don’t get to choose. Not matter what happens with her, I will love her and take care of her. Having said that, she can be really disruptive. If there is anyone else in your life who causes you that much pain and frustration, I’d consider jettisoning them from your orbit. They probably aren’t worth it. Standard Disclaimer:  In an effort to foil my…

When you first start a business it is really hard to say no to anyone. You will take anything you can get that is a paying gig and plenty that is unpaying. You also generally cast a pretty broad net until you figure out what you do best, enjoy most, and can actually make a living at. It has been my experience that people can bring you energy or take your energy. I think I learned that from my amazing Mentor/Coach, Jerry, or maybe somewhere else in coaching school. But the more I work with a diverse group of clients the more I see this to be true. One energy-sucker in an important place in your life can destroy you. And you may not even know how damaging the effects of that person are until you get out from under their shade and into the sun. That can change everything.  I was reflecting the other day on how much easier my coaching life is now that I have a “mature” practice. I attract clients who are serious about change and I am better at vetting them to make sure they aren’t lying to themselves that they are ready. Sure, I have tough sessions, but it is different when it’s a tough session with some with whom I have a real connection and to whom the work is important. There is a big difference between 50 minutes of intense presence and concentration with that person and a session with someone who isn’t ready or invested.  I had a busy week last week. 5 clients on Tuesday, 6 clients on Wednesday with only a break for my workout in the middle of the day, 4 clients and a consultation on Thursday sandwiched around a workout and a speaking engagement in Somerville (90+ minutes…