One might think that as an ADHDer I would agree with Tom Petty that “Waiting is the hardest part.” I certainly won’t make the argument that waiting is easy. It is probably in the top five hardest parts. But I would argue that the planning is actually the hardest part. Planning requires extensive executive function. It requires attention, follow through, initiation, and is particularly heavy on working memory. Bottom line: it’s really hard for us. So, mostly we try to avoid it. We might… Try to pack at the last minute without a packing list, Write a long paper without making any sort of outline, Go to the grocery store without a shopping list, Start a home improvement project without figuring out time, materials, and tools, Or promise an outcome without thinking about how we’ll achieve it. But, even though it is hard for us to do the planning, it can be done. And it usually results in better results and lower stress. I suggest taking a deep breath and sitting down and making a detailed written plan well enough in advance that there isn’t substantial pressure. Identify action steps. Estimate how long they will take. Plan when and how those steps will be achieved to build toward the desired result. As one example in my life, I’ve built a huge suburban garden over the past 4 years that consists of 13 raised bed of various sized, a fence row of sunflowers, 12 fruit and nut trees, 4 window boxes, grape trellises, and several herb planters. Sounds overwhelming, right. At times it was. But every time I got overwhelmed, I’d (take an ativan, work out, or meditate, and…) make a plan! I don’t have any big building or improvement projects for the garden this year. But, I’ve got to get…

I was and am a punk rock kid at heart. Well, really a 3rd Wave Ska-Punk kid. (But that’s probably a bit esoteric for most folks.) I am also a bundle contradictions. More about that in another post tentatively titled “owning it.” But my style has always been a blend of establishment hipster and anti-establishment punk. At one point, I had my ear, tongue, eyebrow, and labret pierced. Not to mention the orange hair twisted up in spikes with old-school flat top wax. Needless to say, I’ve always wanted a tattoo. But, I also know my own limitations. So I instituted a rule. If I loved something enough to put on my body, I had to wait five years. If I still loved it that much after five years I would get it. But through my twenties everything seemed fleeting. I didn’t want to end up with a sports logo, or a band, or an ultimate frisbee related tattoo that I would outgrow. Which was a good idea because I’ve more or less outgrown most of those things. But I had an idea when my son was born in 2009. I loved him. I would alway love him. So I set to thinking about what I wanted the tattoo to be… and took five years doing it. By the time he turned five I had the idea nailed down. I wanted: His name in a cursive script that reminded my of my grandmother, who he was partly named after, In the form of a punk rock patch (that looks like real stitching) that is an ode my my punk rock ethos and esthetic In blue and white that also reminds me of my grandmothers wedgewood china On my left forearm, where I’ve always wanted it so it can be my…

Check out this flyer:

Check out the attached flyer. Kids 6-12. Great opportunity.

If you’re going to take my advice and not skip two days in a row. That means working out on weekends. But, beyond the idea that you’ll need to workout on the weekend once. You should workout on weekends. Why? Most of us have pretty busy lives. There just isn’t a ton of time during the work week. I’m lucky. I work from home and can be pretty creative with my workout scheduling. And it can still be tough. For most folks weekdays are… getting the kids ready in the morning, getting ourselves ready, commuting, working, working more, trying to get home in horrible Greater Boston traffic or on trains that break down, making dinner, eating dinner, squeezing in family time, getting the kids to bed and/or helping with homework, etc. Not exactly a lot of free time. More power to you if you have the energy and discipline to get your exercise on after all that. More likely you are squeezing it in at “lunch” or going super early in the morning. I’m certainly not saying that it’s impossible to fit in workouts during the week. Either way, we have to do that. But it usually leaves us with limited options. My wife gets up and rides the spin bike most mornings. That’s the only time during the week she can do it. But it was not an easy habit to cultivate… and she’s neurotypical. Of course our weekends are busy too. But, if you plan ahead and think about when you’ll have an hour or so, you can probably find time on Saturday and Sunday to get in a decent work out. In fact, it may actually be easier because you may find you can relax and enjoy the activity more. And, you may have more options than…

I just read an article from ADDitude’s Research Digest: Teens less likely to recognize positive effects of ADHD medication. It relates the results of a small study of teens. They were given different amounts of medication, including placebo and asked to rate their effectiveness everyday. Even though their efficacy was clearly influenced by the medication, they reported not feeling a difference. The conclusion was that teens have difficulty telling if the medication works.  The first question that came to my mind was, “compared to whom?” I would argue that teens, kids, and adults all vary widely in their ability to be able to tell if the meds are working. As a coach, my impression is that self awareness is one key to treatment. Some of us are born with more of it than others. But it is important to cultivate self awareness in regards to any treatment plan. I’m just not sure it it is an age related thing.  I’ve know eight-year olds who can clearly articulate that the medication helps. I know that I could feel its effects very clearly at age 10 or 11 when I first started. In fact my doctor trusted me enough to allow me to decide how much I needed for a given activity at a very young age. School, baseball, and homework were 20 mg Ritalin tasks. Playing with friends or going to a birthday party might be 10 or 15 mg Ritalin activities. I knew what I needed.  On the flip side, I also have adult clients who have no idea that the meds are working. I had one client who started over the weekend and we talked on Monday. He said that he couldn’t tell if it was working. I asked him what his weekend was like. He told me that…

When I turned 10 (I think) it was the last time that my parents invited everyone in my class to a birthday party at my house. It ended up being 30 or so kids running around and going crazy. Apparently it was too much for me to handle and I went outside and hid in my dad’s car. And I don’t mean hiding in the sense that no one knew where I was. I mean that I was hiding from the chaos. As my Dad loves to tell this story, I have had a chance to reflect on its meaning many times over the years. I used to think of it as an anomaly. I never thought of myself as an introvert and am very much a social person. I spent my first career in commercial kitchens, which are, at best, controlled chaos. And, I thrived in that environment. So why the freak out at the birthday party all those years ago? Well, I’ve realized recently that as much as I am a people person, I can also be over stimulated by my environment. Don’t love going food shopping in the middle of the day on Saturday at Wegmans. I never liked taking our son to the children’s museum on a Saturday unless it was members only hours. Generally speaking, I don’t love crowds. I guess my point is that I’m a guy who handles busy situations pretty well and can thrive in them, but only if I have a way to make order out of the chaos. That was the case in the kitchens I working in. But, I can’t create structure in a supermarket on the Saturday before Christmas. So that I do find over stimulating. There are many ADHDers who are even more susceptible to being overwhelmed…

This one is short and to the point. If you are trying to develop a routine it is super important to be consistent. So yes, any working out is better than none. However, a workout routine that is more consistent is more likely to become a lasting habit. It has been my experience that once you miss two days in a row for any reason, it makes it really easy to not go on that third day… next thing you know you haven’t worked out for a week and your developing habit is disappearing before your eyes. That’s why I recommend getting exercise at least 4 days a week. And, don’t assume that this has to be during the week. I think it can be easier to handle the demand of the work week if you make the commitment to exercise on the weekends and then you only have to go 2-3 times during the week. It’s my feeling that going regularly is far more important that what you do or for how long. I think you are better off going 5x a week for 20 minutes than going than going twice a week for an hour each. It’s a better way to build good habits and probably better for your body and ADHD management. You can alway work up to longer workouts. Start with consistency. Standard Disclaimer:  In an effort to foil my own perfectionist tendencies, I do not edit my posts much… if at all. Please excuse and typos, mistakes, grammatical errors, or awkward phrasing. I focus on getting my content down. An imperfect post completed is better than a perfect post that goes unposted.

I had a great meeting of my CHADD parents support group last night. It was only three moms but they were all new and really ran the gamut of who comes to the meetings. One mom was really struggling with her 5 year-old boy who’s recently diagnosed but long assumed to have had ADHD. One mom has a 16 year old girl who is working her tail off to hold it together in school despite having tremendous difficulty attending to just about anything. Interestingly, she did far better when she did 4 hours of gymnastics everyday. The last mom has a 14 year old who’s super inattentive and impulsive… and already well over six feet tall. Some really interesting things came up. I’m going to try to cover them in the next few posts before I circle back to finish my work out tips series. One thing that came up near the end of the meeting was the whether or not listening to music is helpful or hurtful for concentration. I can’t remember if I’ve done a post on this or not. But, even if I have, it couldn’t hurt to do another one. The short answer is, YES… for 95% or ADHDers. But there are some caveats to that… and of course exceptions. As with most aspects of ADHD, we ADHDers often respond in two different ways to the same issue The majority of us will will respond one way and a small percentage of us will respond in what is likely the exact opposite way. The vast majority of us focus far better when this is background sound of our choosing, ie. music. I have no idea why this is or what the brain-based mechanism is. The way way that I’ve always thought about it was that there…

I am 100% about generating my own content, but sometimes you come across something that says it so well that it stands on it’s own. Many people don’t really take me seriously when I say that videogames have been been shown to be neurologically addictive. I urge you to consider reading this Ask Amy with a contribution from Comic Paula Poundstone. 

My eight-year-old is a fantastic kid. But his attention is challenged, especially in the morning and evening when he’s not on his Focalin. I was getting frustrated with reminding him about everything he had to do as part of his routine. And, my nagging him wasn’t ideal for our relationship. So, we decided together that creating and posting checklists would be a good idea. We made a draft together (when he was medicated.) Then I typed them up on colorful paper and posted them in his room next to the door, on the wall in the bathroom, and downstairs on the corner of the TV. It’s a new system, but so far we’ve had pretty good progress on most days.

So, I don’t often do something as trite as posting lyrics as a blog post. But, I’m a bit behind in posting and a song by my new favorite band, The Interrupters, really hit me the other day. I think it’s pretty self explanatory, so here it is… They always told you you were never good enoughBut why oh why are you making itAre you making it so hard?Be easy on yourselfBe easy on yourselfBe easy on yourselfCuz nobody’s been easy on you