As several of my clients are applying to and often getting into their first choice college I’m reminded of a “fun” thing that happened to me. I remember the pressure and the stress of getting the applications done. I succumbed less to the stress of getting in than most. For some reason I rolled with that one. Anyway, my first choice was Brown. I knew I didn’t have the “resume” to get in, but I thought that my ADHD gave me an explanation as to why my “measurables” weren’t quite up to snuff but that if you looked at my total package I was a good candidate. Still a reach. Not getting in would have been a minor footnote in my life as it wasn’t that big a deal. For example, I can’t remember if it was Oberlin that wait listed me and Vassar that I didn’t get into… or the other way around. Who cares. But Brown was different. My Dad is an Alumnus. So, when I didn’t get in, they sent him a letter offering him counseling, presumably because he should be so disappointed at his son’s lack of success. I have let this fuel me for the 20 years since. In fact, pretty much every time the world has told me that I can’t do “it,” I’ve made it my mission to do “it” anyway if it was really important. Or I’ve let that fuel me as I’ve gone in a different direction. Standard Disclaimer: In an effort to foil my own perfectionist tendencies, I do not edit my posts much… if at all. Please and typos, mistakes, grammatical errors, or awkward phrasing. I focus on getting my content down. An imperfect post completed is better than a perfect post that goes unposted.

Two of my favorite resources to donate clothes, housewares, etc. are THEY COME TO YOUR HOUSE. IT’S AMAZING! The Vietnam Veterans of America: The Epilepsy Foundation of New England: http://donateclothes.epilepsynewengland.org/massachusetts?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=donate%2520clothes%2520ma&utm_campaign=donate%2520clothes%2520ma These are my two favorites because they are very easy to schedule, come to your house, and take more than most services. I’ve used them both and find them to be reliable about coming when they are supposed to. And, the Epilepsy Foundation has recently added drop off locations, if that’s your thing. You can also see a map of those at the above link.

I deal with lots of kids who are super stressed about the SATs and the ramifications. A lot of them take classes, endless practice test, read books, make flash cards, and generally drive themselves crazy. I’m not saying that some kids don’t benefit from a little studying. But, the way most kids get wound up about the test can’t be helpful. I would wager that they lose more points from the test taking anxiety than they gain from much of the studying. My philosophy was to be super chill about it. I had bigger fish to fry focusing on my classes. I figured I either knew it or not. I took the same approach to my SAT II’s and my AP. I never took a class, read a book, did a practice test, or made a single flash card. I just made sure to learn my stuff in school, get a good night’s sleep and eat a solid high protein breakfast. The result was that I went into that room with no pressure, stress, or anxiety. And, that let my brain do its cognitive best without any interference. Results: World History SAT II – conveniently can’t remember because it was bad. Class hadn’t prepared me for it. My parents asked me if I wanted to study and retake it. I laughed. SAT – Eng: 720, Math: 690 US History SAT II – 730 US History AP – 3 or a 4 can’t remember exactly, but a credit-earning grade either way English/Writing SAT II – 780 I don’t mention these scores to toot my own horn. I have always tested well. I honestly believe that if I had studied and got all wound up I may not have done as well. Unscientific, yes. But, sometimes I can color outside the lines.…

I’ve seen it in Lexington, Mass., where parents and educators came together this year to read our book, Beyond Measure, and screen the companion film. Inspired, they’re taking town-wide action. One elementary school ended traditional homework and replaced it with nightly reading for pleasure. Other schools in town are making time during the school day for the academic help and project work that are often pushed into precious after-school hours. Meanwhile, Superintendent Mary Czajkowski is meeting with students, parents, and teachers to shape more change for 2017. The strain students are suffering from overwork and unhealthy attitudes toward learning, she says, “has to bring our way of doing things into question.”

I think this article is a bit all over the place and I’m not totally on board with all the possible solutions or explanations, but it raises some very interesting points. Worth considering

Apparently it is the time of year to start thinking about a gap year for your outgoing seniors.  Info on our local Boston fair:  And more on some of the programs available through at least one local company: 

I have a seven-year-old boy and a two-year-old girl. For me this is a study in developmental comparison. These kids couldn’t be much different. It is hard as a parent to not compare them to each other and to compare them to their peer group. I see this all the time with my clients and with their families. ADHD folks develop at their own rate. It is often said that ADHD kids are two to four years behind in maturity. I agree with this, but with an important caveat. That is that these kids may be super immature in some areas but very mature in other areas. You might be able to have an in depth philosophical conversation with an ADHD 11 year old as if he/she were an adult. Then that same kid might, for example, moon the whole neighborhood from the bus on the way to school the next day. (Side note: I was that kid. Good thing I didn’t take the bus. That one wasn’t autobiographical.) Anyway, I was thinking the other day about some examples that I can point to about folks who developed at their own rate and came out just fine. I thought I would share one such story with you. My Dad did not learn to read until third grade. They were just about to put him the “special” classes when his neighbor, who was a wonderful woman and a retired school teacher, stepped in and give him one on one attention. It worked and subsequently, my dad graduated from Brown with degree in Classics, wrote a play that was produced off Broadway, was a high school English teacher for 30 years, and is one of the most voracious readers I know. I have always loved this story because it reminds me to…

I recently got a brochure in the mail from Camp Ramapo. I’m not really familiar with them, so don’t consider this an endorsement. You’ll have to do your due diligence. But I think I’m comfortable endorsing the concept. It is a “traditional summer camp experience for children with social, emotional, or learning challenges.” So I thought this was an opportunity to address the issue of social/emotional development. This is not my wheelhouse. I am the first one to admit this. Outside of the problems that my impulsivity caused, I never had social problems. more than any average kid. But, I see it more and more with some of my clients, but even more so with the kids of the parents in my support group. I don’t really have expertise in this area. But the pattern that I see is that the traditional remedies like social groups, lunch groups, etc. don’t always seem to be effective for some ADHD kids. My guess is that this is primarily because of two factors. The first is that anger that many ADHD kids experience is not conducive to such a group. Second, these groups usually are composed of kids of different social levels with different social issues. Often the ADHD kids are resentful about being in a group with kids on the spectrum etc. And their attentional issues make it very difficult to be patient about other kids issues if they don’t look like their own. Anyway the reason I decide to post on this is because the camp brochure got me thinking about how much better a social “group” would work better for these types of kids if the group was a whole camp, where some self selection could occur and where the learning could happen in the context of fun. It might…

I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts the other day and got the distinct feeling that the topic was skirting around a topic that I discuss with my clients all the time: stimulation seeking behaviors. The whole podcast is interesting. But, I made a note that about 30 minutes in was a particularly relevant portion. Unfortunately, I can’t remember what it was or why it was so relevant… I was driving at the time. So, I’m grateful that I accessed any of my mental note on the topic.

This is a concept that I named several years ago and very much comes under the heading of understanding your own behavior… Why is it that we do what we do?  Sometimes it is simply that we chose the task that sucks the least. I always think of the college kid who doesn’t do laundry for the first 6 weeks of school because it’s so boring and tedious. But then when it’s time to study for midterms, suddenly that’s a great time to do laundry. This kid will then spend all day doing laundry and may even clean his/her room. And it’s not that those things aren’t in need of being done and won’t help his/her ability to focus in that environment, but let’s be honest. He or she is really avoiding studying because laundry is now not at that top of the “hierarchy of suck.” Studying is. Laundry if finally the lesser of two evils.

Quick tip. When you are trying new medications for anything it is a really good idea to keep a brief but rigorous journal of the dates, names, dosages, effects, side effects, etc. The average human being has a hard time remembering this stuff. It is especially tough for those of us with aDHD. But this is tremendously helpful data for you and your doctor. It will help you get where you need to be now and may be a valuable resource in the future, when if will be even harder to remember the details. Don’t make it into a complicated process or you are likely to do it. Develop your own code or shorthand. Set an alarm to do it daily at a time when you feel attentive. In addition to start dates, changes keep daily records. I suggest that you track the following on a daily basis: -Time taken -When it seems to wear off (if applicable) -Mood -Attention -Any other effects good or bad -Summary of your behavior Standard Disclaimer: In an effort to foil my own perfectionist tendencies, I do not edit my posts much… if at all. Please and typos, mistakes, grammatical errors, or awkward phrasing. I focus on getting my content down. An imperfect post completed is better than a perfect post that goes unposted.

Actually, I’m tremendously anxious and borderline terrified about what comes next for our country. But, I’ve still got seven clients today who need me. I’ve still got a wife and two kids. I still have a business, and a home, and bills, and responsibilities.  As ADHDers we can get very “stuck” when something goes wrong, goes very well, scares, excites us, or gets in our head. That thing can become a roadblock that may seem insurmountable. I think it is a valuable life skill to learn to put those extreme thoughts and feelings “in a box.” There will be a time and a place to address them, but they can’t become a roadblock to the rest of our lives. I learned this lesson from a fantastic chef I used to work for named Carmen Qualiata. I was working for him at The Vault at the time… maybe 13 years ago. One day I got a call from my mom who told me that my grandfather had fallen and broken his neck. He was 92 at the time, I believe. When I got to work I told Carmen what had happened and let him know that I was pretty shaken up. He absolutely had sympathy for me, but I also let me know that managing situations like this was what being an adult was all about. We all have our day to day baggage. It’s our job to leave it at the door and still do the job we have to do. I would say today falls in that category for me. I certainly don’t “feel fine.” But at the same time, I have to. So I’m going to check my baggage at the door and dive in to my work and my family. That’s all I can do, right?