I bought the second house I ever looked at on the first day of looking when we weren’t really looking. It was a great decision. It was quick and decisive but not impulsive. We saw it on Sunday. I went back on Monday. I brought my parents to see it on Wednesday. I made an offer on Friday. A counter offer was accepted (which included being contingent on an inspection and an engineer’s evaluation,) on Friday night. I was reminded of this by something that happened today. Last week I got a call from an internet marketing company. They offered me a $9.95 website evaluation. I said sure. Today I had a phone meeting with their sales manager. Long story short, he overwhelmed me with information for over an hour. And, then gave me the pricing with lots of confusing options and the let me talk to my manger thing. I told him I needed a night to think about it. He said he couldn’t do the special pricing tomorrow. I told him I would need ’til the end of business. Here is where I did two smart things. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that prices don’t change day to day and that as excited as I was about what he was selling, there was something “used car salesman” about him that I didn’t like. I reached out for advice. With the house, I asked my Dad. For this I reached out to my coach. (Probably the two guys in the world I trust the most.) He immediately hooked me up with his web guy, who cut through the BS. Offered me a clearer explanation in about 5 minutes, offered to do more for me, and all for less than half the price. (And, he came with…

This is a follow up to yesterday’s post. These are actual emails that I received from the guy at the first Company. I’m posting them because… well the last one is so funny/scary it is worth reading. 2:35pm Matt, I will be ok for the time you need to decide which plan you want as long as it is done before the end of the day and corporate does my audit I will be fine. The prices 3 months $2500.00 your price $1500.00 3 months6 months $4500.00 your price is $2000.00 6 months Today 4 months $1500.00 Today 6 months $2000.00 Today 12 months $2200.00 All inclusive We will talk just before 5pm your time unless you call me sooner 3:00pm High pressure voice mail was left offering me some vague additional deal that I had to call him for. 4:00pm Doug, Hi. I got your message. I’ve done some thinking and talked to a few people. I’ve decided that, even with your discounted pricing, it seems pretty expensive, based on other information that I have. I’m sure you are very good and I very much appreciate your time and energy. I’m just not prepared to move forward with such an investment in such a short time frame. I plan to explore other options and will be back in touch if I decide to go with your company. Thanks again for your time and for educating me on how much I do not know. 4:04pm Matt, you are THE FIRST person in 15 YEARS to say we are expensive as my closest competitor is over $13.000.00 per year and that is firm. I believe that we all get what we pay for and this business is no different I can’t imagine who you could have talked to that told you…

Lest you all think I don’t go through the same stuff you do, I have to work pretty hard to maintain the balance in my life that I need. It is not easy as a parent who works full time to find the time to have the social life that I need to maintain the balance I need in my life. I, like most ADHDers need a level of social stimulation that doesn’t magically appear in adult life. One of the other things that I need as an semi-ex athlete is competition. And, playing risk on the computer by myself and angry birds doesn’t count. (Even though I dominate at Star Wars Angry Birds!) But, I get it. It is not easy to fight our own inertia and get out there socially. And, it hasn’t been easy for me to find competition in the times of year that I’m not able or healthy to play ultimate. (That’s ultimate Frisbee, for the uninitiated.) So, I’ve gone out on a limb to start a Dad’s Poker Night with some neighbors, Dad’s from E’s school, and other friends and family. Tonight was month two. (Out of three, because we missed last month…) It was so much fun. I can honestly tell you that it was worth the effort to organize. It was worth the first semi-awkward poker night in Sept. It was worth the month that didn’t actually happen in October. I had so much fun tonight with a bunch of guys that I know in a couples context, but not in a guys hanging out context. I also got my competition on… and happened to win. ($100) But here’s the important thing. I know from personal experience that this fun-ness will sustain me for days, maybe even a week. It will bring…

“It takes a lot of energy to be better than everyone else.” “Being unhappy is a waste of time”

I had a great session with my coach last week. I was feeling some guilt about a situation in my life. (Specifically, about not wanting to spend every possible waking moment with my son.) His answer to guilt blew me away and I wanted to share it with y’all. Jerry observed that guilt is usually a result of our breaking our own rules. We all have core beliefs, standards, values, whatever you want to call them. It is less common that we trample those. But we often make up/ assume rules that may or may not truly serve those core values. Then adopt these rules as fact. I’m sure some rules are great, but the more I’ve explored this, the more I realize how many of them get us in to trouble. For example, the issue I was discussing with my coach: I felt guilty about not picking up my little man (4.5 yrs old) from preschool the minute I could. Even if I don’t have a client my last slot of the day, I often do office work or take the opportunity to wind down with a few minute of and old Star Trek TNG. (They play like 3 a day on BBC America! I love my DVR!) So, the value there is that I take being a dad very seriously. I am an active, loving, affectionate, supportive 1/2 of my son’s parenting team. I have my strengths and weaknesses and make my mistakes, but on balance, I’m the dad that I want to be. That’s who I am and what is important to me. Incidentally, I had a very good role model in my own father. Unfortunately, I had unwittingly attached “rules” to how I fulfill my core value of being a great dad. I had decided that…

I took a break over the summer from posting. As I have entered the fall, and tried to get back going on the blog, I have found it difficult. I have a list of topics I want to address, but seem somewhat overwhelmed by jumping in to the more complex, lengthy, or challenging ones. Therefore, this is the perfect time for me to remind myself that this blog doesn’t have to be perfect. My plan is to rededicate myself to a stream of consciousness form of writing (with little or no editing) that emphasizes content, not form, but allow me to write the darn entries! Done is better than not done perfectly!

“No one axiom can be deemed wise and expedient for all times and circumstance.” -Thomas Jefferson I’ve been meaning to share this with y’all. My post on rules made me think now was the time. I came across this quote while doing some history reading my Jr. year in High School. It has been the foundation of my personal philosophy ever since. I could tell you what it means to me… but I’m interested in what it means to you. Hope you find it thought provoking.

A client’s mom shared this poem with me recently. It was written about 45 years ago by her mom about her brother. Ten-Year-Old …Does everything by fits and starts, Runs the gamut of manly arts, Works five minutes on model planes, Makes dirty marks on the window panes, Concentrates on spinning a top, Teases his sisters ’til told to stop, Tries to think of something to do, Idly thumbs through a book or two, The trouble with this man of parts, He has more fits than finished starts. –Marguerite Whitley May

I have a lot to offer in terms of what I have figured out. But, that doesn’t mean I have it all figured out or that I don’t have my struggles too. As much as I would love to tell y’all that I’m perfect, I am far from it. It occurs to me that it might be helpful to share some of the things that I sill work on myself. After all, I am always telling my clients not to compare themselves to other, especially since those who seem to have it all together might not. I can be a role model with out being perfect, right? So, I want to share that I’ve really been struggling with my attention for the last week or two. I mean really struggling. It almost feels like I haven’t taken my meds at all. I’ve started doing two a day work outs to try to balance my brain chemistry I’ve moved up my session with my coach so I see him monday morning. I’ve talked some of it out with my wife. I’m eating well and sleeping fantastically. I’m managing my anxiety really well. And, I still can’t seem to sit down and focus on what I want to. (I’m sure you’ll find that this post is indicative of this struggle, as will be even more stream of consciousness than usual.) What’s to be learned from this? I don’t know. Why am I sharing? Because I don’t know what is to be learned yet. It would be neat and tidy to figure out what’s going on and then share a nice positive outcome. But it feels important to be sharing where I am now. I guess the important thing is that I’m doing what I can, keeping my head up, and fighting the…

I know this is an ADHD blog.  I have made a conscious decision not to post about non-ADHD-related issues.  Today is different here in Boston.  This is one of those times when life interrups our lives, when the world transcends each of our own worlds.  At times like this we all need to find our own voices and our collective voice as Americans, but even more so as human beings.  This happens to be an easy forum for me.  So this is my voice. This hit me pretty close to “where I live.”  My father was finishing lunch with a friend less than a block away… and was getting ready to head over to the race.  We couldn’t get in touch with either of them until they arrived back home more than an hour later.  My wife works downtown at a space that hosts marathon-related events.  I am beyond thankful that I don’t have more of a story to tell than that.  But this post isn’t about me. This about US.  Whenever a tragedy like this happens, I am struck by the stark contrast of this horrible day, from every other day, (since September 11th.)  I always hope that tragedy can bring us perspective.  All to often I think we as Americans take for granted the “blanket of freedom” and safety that is provided us every day.  As a parent, this sort of thing is even more terrifying than I ever thought anything could be.  I know what kind of person I am.  If I had been there, I like to think that the “5 years ago me,” would likely have run toward the disaster to help total strangers.  I also know that if I had been there yesterday, my first and only thought would have been for my 4 year old son.  The first…

With a heavy heart we I am back to the business of ADHD today… The following is a redacted copy of a letter I wrote for a client recently to help her get the accommodations her daughter needs.  I honestly don’t know if it will be helpful or not.  I don’t know if they even consider the professional opinion of a coach.  I thought it would be interesting to share, both as a practical document and in terms of addressing the larger philosophical issue of what to do with our ADHD children, especially the bright ones.  (FYI: I haven’t met the dumb ones yet.  Misunderstood and struggling: yes!  Dumb: no way!  Perhaps my next post will be on our need to redefine “smart” in our school system and in our society.) April 2013 To Whom It May Concern: Hello.  My name is Matt Reid, ACC, AACC.  I am a certified ADHD coach.  I am located in Milton, but have clients with ADHD between the ages of 13 and 60 across The United States.  I also teach and speak to parents groups, support groups, and groups of teachers on ADHD related topics across New England.  I also have ADHD myself.  I primarily work with my clients one-on-one, but occasionally am asked by parents to get involved in their interactions with their respective school systems. This letter is to support [Removed] need for accommodations at [Removed] High School.  It is my intention to add depth to the rather brief letter provided by her doctor.  [Removed] came to me this winter with a legitimate medical diagnosis of ADHD, (combined type.)  During the course of several sessions I had with [Removed], I saw no reason to doubt the ADHD diagnosis.  She is classically ADHD, having trouble maintaining focus and sitting still.  These issues are greatly improved through the use of…

Here’s another conference nugget: Here are some interesting facts about the two stimulant families, methylphenidate (Ritalin, Concerta, Metadate…) & Amphetamine (Adderall, etc.) Stimulants appear to be less effective on ADHD in children who are also on the Autism Spectrum  and those who’s ADHD is brain injury related. Stimulants don’t directly effect executive function.  (However, it is my non-scientifically validated opinion that being able to concentrate helps ADHD’ers work on their executive function issues.) Metadate CD capsules can be opened and sprinkled on food for kids who have trouble with the pills. New research indicates that there is no statistically relevant difference in hight with medicated kids.  There is a lag in growth, but it appears that we catch up. There is a slight difference in weight. Generic drugs only have to be within 20 – 30% of the original’s effectiveness.  Most of them are made by the same drug makers that produce the name brand though.  However, my personal experience is that I respond differently to generic Ritalin, though my insurance won’t let me get the name brand any more.  (The same goes for Catapres)  But, I’ve actually found that I respond better to specific generic producers.  When possible, I order these meds by producer. Here are some interesting contrasts between the two families: Dosing can be a little harder with the methylphenidate family.  (I’m going to call it the Ritalin family from now on to save on my typing.)  It is only 10 – 30% bioavailable.  That means that a relatively little amount of the drug the you take actually gets in to the blood stream.  It can be more effected by metabolism etc.  The Amphetamine family, (Adderall from not on,) is about 80% bioavailable. Ritalin is not effected by being taken with food.  Adderall can be.  Some research indicates that Adderall is less effective in an…