I had a good day on today. One meeting 8 client hours, a quick break for a workout. A long day, but a good day. My last client that day is my youngest current client by a few years. She is a great kid. But, in my opinion, she’s somewhat in denial about her ADHD and how much of an issue. This has historically led to less than stellar medication adherence. We’ve been slowly but surely making progress in that area. But, there was still a wall there. It took me really challenging her about her less than successful behavior patterns for her to break down and really admit how hard it was for her to pay attention, even on the meds. y hope is that that emotion was a watershed. Now we’re talking about the real issue. Because there has been real pain under there all along that she’s been avoiding. Now that it’s out in the open, we can address it. And, I’m so proud of this girl for letting me challenge her, for opening up, for allowing difficult emotions to come out, and for her honesty. I pushed. But she responded. I’m glad I pushed the right way at the right time. And, again, I’m so proud of how she responded. I so optimistic for her going forward with the courage she’s demonstrating. Standard disclaimer: I don’t edit much if at all. This is a deal I have made with myself. It keeps me from being frozen in the metaphorical carbonite of perfectionism or falling into the “Sarlacc” of avoidance behavior. A new post done is always better than a perfect post undone.

… at least I hope they’re deep… I’ve been feeling more philosophical lately. Which I think is a good thing. My tendency is to try to manage life by nailing everything down tight. And, that works to an extent. I’ve made a career out of teaching other people to get their “shit together.” And, I’m not saying that my intention is to get away from that. But there are things that are out of our control, can’t be answered right away, require experience to be quantified, or may simply be beyond our understanding or our control. I’m not even sure how to articulate what I’m trying to say here. I just feel like there is an important piece of life experience that I’m trying to teach myself even more than I’m trying to impart to anyone who might be reading this. I guess it’s that knowing what to let go of really does give you more control in a counterintuitive way. Letting go of what I can’t change or can’t control lets me control my mood by not being in a constant and epic battle to fight against an unwindable enemy. I hope this isn’t to weird or esoteric to be helpful to at least one person… I guess the challenge is to balance the need for structure and control that comes with having ADHD with the anxiety that it can produce to try to be in control of everything all the time… Standard disclaimer: I don’t edit much if at all. This is a deal I have made with myself. It keeps me from being frozen in the metaphorical carbonite of perfectionism or falling into the “Sarlacc” of avoidance behavior. A new post done is always better than a perfect post undone.

So… you have a meeting with Dave. It goes well. Dave is interested in doing business with you, but he has to check with his bosses. What do you do? (This is a two part question, really. How do you handle Dave and how do you handle the resulting “tasks?”) I will say, “Great, Dave. Glad you’re interested. Don’t want you to make a premature commitment. How long do you think it will take to chat with the powers that be?”  Dave will likely say, “Couple of day, definitely by the end of the week.” To which I will respond, “Fantastic. But, if I don’t hear from you, MAY I FOLLOW UP WITH YOU NEXT MONDAY?” So, I’ve given him the power to say no. In other words I’m not being pushy, but I am capitalizing on his good feeling and our positive momentum. I sorta makes him commit to the time frame he gave me. And, it gives me permission to contact him again at a certain agreed upon time without being annoying. Everybody wins! That’s a great tip for business, relationships, boundaries, self-doubters, etc that I picked up somewhere over the years. I regret that I do not remember where so I can’t give credit where it is due. But, what do we do now? We have ADHD and Monday might as well be the end of days. (Will it come? When? Will I know what’s happening, when it comes?…)  Here’s my suggestion. If you read my blog, work with me, or have heard me speak you know of my devotion to the To Do List (as I teach it.) So, you’ve got a bad ass, super functional to do list. And you know that you can’t put stuff on your TDL that can’t be done. It’s Tuesday.…

Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best. And, when I say “sometimes” I mean pretty much all the time. I’ve had a few clients lately have “issues” with taking their meds, either remembering to take them or remembering IF they took them. In both cases, problems would have been avoided by cases… pill cases. An staggeringly simple solution to a straightforward problem. They cost under $2 and last for years. But, most people tend not to buy and to use them until something goes wrong. Be ahead of the curve. Get one (or more) before there is a problem. They are actually giving them away for free at Wegman’s in Westwood… for what it’s worth.

Since I was diagnosed with ADHD about 27 years ago there has been a lot of movement in terms of our society’s ideas about mental health. Almost all of it has been in a positive direction. I feel that we still have a long way to go but that we are identifying and treating more people who need help now than every before.  My personal experience is that talking to people about my ADHD over the years had evolved in this way: Circa 1988: Only one other kid I knew had ADHD and not for being called down to the nurse every day for my meds, I probably wouldn’t have told anyone.  Circa 1995: I was just another kid with ADHD and I was taken with a grain of salt. But, I had more or less come to terms with it and was open about my issues and struggles. Circa 1998: Still considered a “childhood disorder” and there were little to no “services” or understanding at UMass. Circa 2003: I felt like this was around the time that ADHD was really becoming recognized in main stream society. If you mentioned it, everyone knew what it was, even if they didn’t understand it or “believe in it.” Circa 2009: By now I felt that the stigma related to ADHD was largely removed… at least where I live. But with this acceptance came dismissal of severity and importance. I’ve gone from “What’s that?” to “I think everyone has some of that,” in a matter of a few years.  So, where are we now? I don’t know. With more people getting the help they need than ever before. Good thing! But, there is an increasingly vehement faction of society that rallies against increased diagnosis and treatment as a bad thing. This creates another whole issue, and…

Sometimes it is difficult to identify ADHD even for people who have it or have some experience with it because it doesn’t always look the same and act the same. It has been my experience that on any give subject related to ADHD a large percentage of ADHDers, say 80% will react in one way. But, the other 20% will react differently… in a way that is completely opposite. For example, how does the “average” ADHD kid react to a long car ride? I can tell you that being in the back seat of my parents Volvo 25 years ago with “nothing” to do that was stimulating for the two hour drive from Boston to Hartford was my idea of hell. If not for ska/punk and pod casts it still would be my idea of hell. I think most ADHDers respond in a similar way. Of course we have many more ways to amuse ourselves in the car than we did a quarter century ago. And, the average neurotypical kid expects to be entertained full time also. But, I digress. So, let’s say 70% (random guess) of ADHD kids find long car rides to be torture. What about the other 30%? Usually, they are perfectly content to stare out their window, twirl their hair, and enjoy their rich “inner life.” Or they are the lucky few who love to read or draw and can stimulate themselves that way. So, the mother with the rich inner life of who is inattentive, may not connect with her daughter’s struggle in this situation if the daughter is more physically hyperactive and my have “more” ADHD. Some of us are Tasmanian Devils. Others are space cadets. Doesn’t mean they aren’t both ADHD. Standard disclaimer: I don’t edit much if at all. This is a deal I have…

I got the top fortune the month I started my own business as a professional organizer. It has been tacked to my bulletin board ever since.  I got the second one about a month ago, just as my business reached my initial goal. I actually have one more client than I was aiming for and am one more client away from having a waiting list. All of that is built on what I teach my clients every day: doing the small manageable tasks over time to build something bigger and better. The weird thing is that I don’t even like fortune cookies and rarely open them. Yet I got these two about 4 years apart. Spooky. -M PS. Sorry for the long absence. Life has been busy. I hope to be back to producing more regularly now.

I did not invent this. Just came accross this visual of a concept I teach all the time. Thought it may be helpful to see it this way.

1. MindMeister: This is my winner. It just looks so clean. It was easy to use. I like that you can set it to flow in any direction, not just down like in Mindomo. The size, shape, layout of the different levels really works for me. Yet it is plenty customizable. Floating topics are no problem. As you can see, it is the only app where I actually finished planning the Thanksgiving dinner. That tells me that it was the easiest and most functional. Unfortunately, you get very few free maps… and then lots of emails about upgrading. But, I think I’m sold enough to buy the pro version…maybe. I’ll get back to you when I see what it costs. Here’s a shot of my menu planning. By the way, I’m reconsidering 2nd and 3rd places. I’m using Mindmup more than Mindomo. That tells me that I like it more. Both have advantages. Try all three!

2. Mindomo: This is the runner up. I actually like it quite a bit. It is clean, easy to use, pretty flexible and it guides you how to use it effectively and unobtrusively. Plus you can access most of the functions by right clicking. I love that. Floating topics are easy, and detaching topics is easy to. Here’s a capture of a map that I used to figure out how I wanted to evaluate the maps. Also, what I like about this particular app.

Since I wrote that blog entry I gave MindMup another try to organize a my son’s science project. I actually like it a lot more now. It’s growing on me. Overall, I would recommend it. See the posting of what a mind map looks like a few postings ago for that specific map.

MindMup: This one is okay. The ease of entry is good. The look is clean and organized. Unfortunately with that cleanliness come very little customization. Moving around ideas is not as easy as I would like and there is no option to create a floating topic as far as I can tell. Could be worse though. Here’s a capture of a map of mine that’s half done. I got annoyed at the lack of flexibility and gave up. (Dinner still got planned and cooked though.)